half mediocre is better than half crap.

plus mediocre is a good place to start, that means you'll soon be out of that into good then great.

if you say so. . .

wifey told me today to not quit my day-job. that's pretty selfish of her considering i do all her laundry and give her massages every day!

well, i like to sing and play, but never recorded myself so i'm maybe. . .nervous. but eff it, might as well right?

that's why she doesn't want you to quit your day job

might as well. You've got to start somewhere.

start somewhere. . . don't know what i'd do after that.it's frustrating being so interested in stuff that has no monetary benefit

uhhh tell me about... LOL my art has been that way for YEARS

yeah, i kind of figured i was preaching to the choir. birds of a feather, etc i guess

yep.....I've slowly started to make small bits of change here and there, but nothing like a major windfall from it all.

it's a fascinating art-form - attempting to make a living from these "niche" markets. i've been into taiji/yoga for quite some time. i would

have thought *something* would materialize - i'm not looking to get rich by any stretch. but things are working out in their own way

I spent far too many years hiding my "gift" as my friend calls it. She told me one time "Quit hiding your flame under a barrel"

viridian, i doubt any songs i post will be any good, but i feel the exact same way - tired of "hiding."

same with anything i do the last couple years - if it doesn't work out, it's no b/c i didn't hang it out there

a mentor of mine worked in a nursing home for a while, saw lots of people "pass on."he's the first to tell you they don't regret the things

they did, but the things they didn't do

and they're scared shitless

no kidding...I'd be scared shitless too...The unknown, the regrets of past mistakes and disgressions....eep the thought terrifies me NOW

and I'm no stranger to death...lots and lots of close people to me have died and died young.

and old.

I haven't been around death as much. . . but it doesn't bother me really. i lost a friend a couple years ago for some things i said when his

mom died.

For someone so catholic, i didn't see the reason for all the consternation. . .that reminds me of another funny story. interested?

sure

I was painting my friends' nursery the other night.The husband's been in theology school or something for a while, he wants to run a church

So we're talking and he's worried about finding a position locally (here out east) or anywhere.He says the positions are hard to find and

starting your own church is even harder.He knows i'm a hethen, i'm not christian or religious at all.Guess that doesn't bother him me

really? I didn't know they'd be so hard to find.

hethen..LOL that's what we call ourselves in our family.

painting his nursery even though he's unemployed and no school right now.So anyway I tell him "Hey, you know.You pray and ask God to put you

and your family where they need to be.When its time for you to need the job, the right one will open up."And the look in his eyes is like

"I don't know."Now, I understand the challenges and everything but i also know they kind of look down on me b/c i'm not a bible-toter and

what not.So how ironic is it that I'm giving him advice on how to find the job God thinks is best for him and his family?

Yeah, well we hethens sometimes know just the right thing to say.

The funny thing is though, when you tell someone religious something like that, it makes them even more confused I think.

I just want to help, but can't help but think its pretty damn funny.

Make them more confused-exactly.God help them, y'know?

lol

it is funny. Especially for someone going to liturgical schooling.

uhhh...liturgical?seminary schooling?

I don't even know what to call it. LOL

And if you knew them.She is the sweetest girl and goofy and fun.But she makes sure to say the "well the bible says and since its the word of

god i believe. . ."but yeah, for someone being in liturgical school or whatever it is the dude is such a pussy, has no backbone. they talked

My brother married into a religious family. He's all god and bible now..but what I think is funny is I know more about bible stories than

to my wife about the trashiest reality tv shows all night while i painted. lol

his wife does. I swear even the most watered down, everyone knows type of things, she's clueless on.

Oh gosh .LOL

i was raised catholic , altar boy and everything. loved it till i grew up and saw through the hypocrisy. my wife's family is real catholic

and that's part of the reason we don't get along to this day. they are devout catholic, whatever they think that means, and i'm. . . sane

they just use me not being catholic (practicing?) against me, to think everything i do and say is evil. .. i wish i was joking

I feel for you. Families can be so judgemental and unforgiving

Aww that's terrible. Catholics can be so cruel sometimes.

though most other religions have their nuts as well.

AT least my mom's let up quite a bit

it can happen in any religion

I have experienced similar conflicts in my family - which is Jewish

Yeah, most "athiests" i've seen are out of their gourds, too

I consider myself to be spiritual, but not religious

I think it all boils down to being able to see other people's points of view. There's a lot of intolerance.

oh, that's interesting spiritessence. it takes all kinds is what we're saying

yeah, absolutely spiritessence. only people like this can even comprehend it though. makes for good internal dialouge anyway

i don't follow a religion at all - just believe that we are a spirit having a physical experience

not the other way around

ok, I'm really off for the night, I wanted to be in bed relatively early...and I'm relatively late. LOL

i never seem to be able to get to bed before midnight

ooo I like that spirit!

it makes more sense to me that way

yeah, makes a lot more sense to me that way, too.i try and figure out what is in all these folks way that keeps them from seeing the obvious

egos is my simple answer-but in the end it don't matter. I M Here.

they have not been able to break free of their earlier conditioning

i was one who never fit in anyway. LOL

Even my son probably thinks I am weird...heehee

but I still love him

tell me about it! it is interesting with your son- the parent/child relationship is so complex

yes - he is much more conservative than I am.

I don't know how that happened.

his dad's influence probably

That's so interesting. Parenting has been my biggest passion, since before I ever had kids. It is amazing.Might sound hokey, but it's led

me into everything else i do one-way or another. "for the next seven generations" kind of thing

not hokey at all. but unusual.

you do seem to be a devoted dad, for sure

that's really nice. Coming from a family where my dad was kind of "absent" a lot of the time - either working or even when

he was home, he was "somewhere else"\

always reading or thinking or doing something else and not really involved with us a lot of the time

my first husband was kind of like that too - not surprising that marriage didn't last very long

i know i am my own person, not just a dad- but experiences like yours are exactly why it is so important to me.i can't believe how careless

humans are with the youngest generations

don't get me wrong - he is a good person, just very unexpressive emotionally.

I shouldn't say "humans", it's this "modern" society, which is just an extension of Rome, which was an extension of things before it

I am thrilled to see , however that my son is very actively raising his daughters and very involved with them

yes - i do think it is our western society with all our technology, we have forgotten some of the important human values

Yeah, my mom feels the same way about me.Its was so flattering for her to tell me I am already a much better father than my dad ever was.

isn't that wonderful!

I wonder if it was just a generational thing

maybe there is hope yet???

*sigh* I am not holding my breath. But I do believe in great things possible. But too many people are so far from sanity-insanity is what

people think is normal. I don't worry about the "others" anymore. Just what comes up in front of me. And i welcome whatever God gives me

for a "project" or "gift" or "challenge" I don't understand Her language, either.Gave up on that, too.And happier for it

that's very sane, in my opinion - and in line with the Universal Laws.

You da man!

like that you said "Her" lol

oh.. and I am not "da man"

(Then I call you a man! lol)

must be getting late... getting silly

It felt so good to talk about this stuff with you.

Thanks, sweetheart

It's been great talking to you too. not many othr people to share this kind of stuff with.

hey - have a good rest tonight. Tomorrow is another day!

Oh... it already IS tomorrow.

It's been real

yeah g'night Talk to you tomorrow no doubt!