hope you feel better. Is the confusion anything we at plurkville can help with?

idk, my bf is just very hard headed. when we get into a fight he like makes me upset, and then he bashes on himself for doing that

and he goes on and on about how terrible he is and how i'm better and deserve better

which hurts more

and it got so bad tonight i resorted to cutting again, and his mom came over to check on me and me and her talked a lot

she told me to tell him that i'm not gonna be a part of his pity party. so i did and he threw a fit saying he was just saying sorry and he

meant it from the heart. and i was like yea ok i get that you're sorry but you dont need all the "i'm sorry i'm such a fuck up"s too.

and he just wont see the big picture, and thinks i'm just lecturing him like his parents and mentor, when i'm really just saying:

hey quit that, it hurts me too.

wow. this sounds like a lot of stress. besides parents, what other older people are in your lives to help guide you?

my youth pastor i guess. my dad doesnt guide, at all.

well, cutting is serious business, and quite frankly, the cycle of emotions here isn't real healthy

but i'm not in a position to judge your situation

i can only suggest

i would say that if you look at the definition of controlling partners online, and i advise you to look it up,

they do tend to throw tantrums and then go "i can't live without you"

honestly, i'd seek professional help. this is a lot for a pastor to deal with. i should know.

well i know he's being immature, def. but i wouldnt call it controlling. i dont put up with that shit anymore.

he's just being a little kid, throwing a fit for attention.

and i'm going to be starting therapy for my bipolar and anxiety and all that jazz, so that should help as far as i go

cuz i admit i get upset easily cuz i cant help it

the therapy is excellent. the sooner you go, the better,

but tell them everything

look, if you're 17, this is a lot on you - a serious relationship and all these issues

and it only gets worse from here on out. making money puts inordinate pressures on people

so the more you go "i need help" and seek it, the better

and the help is available more easily now. for me, i don't have insurance

nobody gives a fuck if i'm dead or alive

things after 18 become harder to find,

after 21 you're just assumed to be an adult

i'm not saying this to lecture you but encourage you

there is help, and people willing to make life better

yeah, the world is a hard place to live in. =/ i notice that more and more. my mom has me on her insurance, and she has a good plan

so she's gonna help me out cuz my dad wont/cant

just be adamant. you need the counselor or therapist

and quite frankly, this guy needs to learn to behave himself,

and i'd like to hear that someone professional besides his parents was watching his behavior

how old is he?

he does have mentors and conselers [cant spell]. he's only 15.

he told me he's willing to work on his issues cuz he sees how much it hurt me

and he asked if we can do therapy together

i'd take him up on that. it sounds like you two are living together almost, the way your posts are

at 15 i have no idea what to expect from a guy. again, i can't judge, but i can safely say the more opinions you have access to that see you

the better

lol not quite. we just spend a lot of time together. he spent the night last weekend too.

i love him to death, but he needs to grow up some. if i can help him do that, great. if not, then he needs to find his own way quick

or i'll tell him to cool it

i dont let people take advantage of me, so dont worry about that =] or control me.

well, at 15, i wonder what others around you might say

at 15 i wasn't even aware anyone had hormones

i was like lalalalalala i like transformers

again, good luck with this, but just be open and willing to find help. for sure the cutting has to stop

and help is fun. it's nice to know people care. it really is

lol, thanks for listening. it helped.