How about "Don't pay the ransom, honey, I've escaped"?

The dog plurked your homework?

I overplurked?

you plurked on yourself?

I was the victim of a drive by plurking, and they took hostages.

Amber

wait...can i be a hostage? i need an excuse also...

I was the victim of a Plurk gone wrong.

YOu people are not right, let me tell ya.

Paul committed a drive-by plurking, yup, i said it

Plurk made me do it

You were plungover, i.e. stayed up too late plurking.

I see this excuse thing plurking out just fine

plurked it and quit it?