pehaps try non sequitors? "Plenty of roughage". Or colloquial expressions? "Learn to crawl before you walk?". Or euphemisms...

...

or random. read the latest twitter from a friend as a response?

"Be prepared to lose hair, money, and SOs."

you are, you started up

actually, Loli got it pretty much spot on, I think

I had the privilege of seeing one up close.

don't feed the startup owners... keep all hands away from cage at all times.