i did message my employment specialist (with no answer) and talked it over with my therapist who's also a social worker, and she referred me to a disability case manager i can see sometime next year

there is a negative zero chance of me actually getting disability but the effort is there

i also e-mailed the manager to tell him but he didn't respond yet either

but all of the managers seemed like they were... expecting this, almost

whenever they'd ask if i was alright with something and i said 'i'll do what i can' they always kinda gave me a nervous look

called this morning and they seemed to be understanding about it, and said i'm free to reapply if i get it all sorted out

that's probably the nicest last manager interaction i've ever had lmao