Hit me big guy

Dumb situation!

Dumb situations with Val let's go!

god please

accessories ok SO YOU CAN TELL ME IF THIS DOESN'T WORK but with Noi, if she ever catches Greed finally passing out somewhere (because listen the man doesn't sleep but I'm waving my hands and saying sometimes, he just fucking crashes)

she would carry his knocked-out over her shoulder like a sack of potatoes. Bring him to one of the rooms at the Nest and just let him sleep. Probably makes sure no one wakes his ass up

This is true! But there is a 15% chance she would also draw a fancy mustache on his face, don’t be the first one to fall asleep at a party, boss

Be that hanging around the door like: Do not pass go, just don't. And if someone calls, she either gives the phone to Kam or answers it like: "Hey man whatever booty you're looking for is out like a fucking light. Rain check?"

oh it's been a minute
but boss man and the brat if you feel so inclined!

Djdkdjdjdjrn WHEEZE Greed just blearily waking up, hair a fucking mess, shuffling to the secret bathroom and it takes him a while five fucking seconds to realize he's got sharpie on his face

And y'know he would absolutely HOWL at that like all right you little shit ok fair game, fair game

(presents both of my guys for stupid situations)

For Michael, it's one of those late night talks that goes into the wee hours of morning. Greed absolutely loses track of the time and ends up staying at his hotel into the late morning hours. Probably puts on a lot of coffee and wanders out onto the balcony to have a smoke

And he's debating just exiting stage fucking left at this point. Just a little jump over the banister to head back to downstairs. But Michael comes out with two cups and the two of them just enjoy the morning. He doesn't get to see the sun often, and Michael knows that.

They don't say much, maybe he cracks a stupid joke at Mike's expense, but it's like two, old friends who've known each other for centuries. Maybe they have a breakfast before the Sin goes as the Sin is wont to go but it's like. For a second, there isn't the usual bullshit

AisuYoukai ok so hear me out: Greed gets caught somehow and it's Garret's turn to save a Sin's ass. It isn't really serious, but just Greed hanging upside down in some monster hunter's basement, strung up by his ankles, and swinging on some chains

And of course, Garret doesn't want to do this, but he's the best for it and as soon as he shows up, Greed just flashing his dumb, lopsided grin like: "Oh ho, come to join the party?"

AND IF I'M WRONG HERE feel free to say so, but I can just imagine Garret being like: "I can just leave you here y'know." And Greed doing BIG COMPLAINING SIN HOURS just groaning as he ways like the saddest fucking pendulum in the world

Like he's fine. He's going to be fine. This isn't that serious but also. He's been like this for at least a day, help a poor homunculus out would ya

And he'd owe Garret, both of them know this, which is why he's so fucking UGH about it. Fine fine, name your proce you little shit

(also I'm on mobile, spelling doesn't count today)

That checks! Michael scandalized because what the fuck Greed, don’t swan dive out of his window like an adulterer, walk out the front door like a normal housebroken demon GOD

Rethinking his life choices and flist like.. is it them or is it me? Most of them are demons, it’s absolutely them. These two would single-handedly run through the coffee upstairs. Do they need it? Not really but they are doing as the humans do~

Looks all legit to me! That totally sounds like something Garrett would say and do lol. He is just so exasperated with this devil, he's done, etc. But also it was fun sneaking past these idiots and he might as well finish the job (and get paid for it).

Kekeke

oh iw ould like this

10778438 I WAS GOING TO GO WITH the captured route but then this came along and here we go. Val just in his giant limo down in the good ol' other Hell and (now work with me here I know traffic laws don't exist BUT)

He's a stop sign and there's the sound a very loud, very assertive motorcycle and Greed being well, Greed, just pulls up right next to it knowing damn well who it belongs to

Cigarette in his mouth and he just gently leans his foot on the door. "Fancy seeing you here, lover boy"

Cue 5 minutes later and there is an absolute cluster fuck of a traffic jam because these two men are just basically doing a bitch off at each other in the street. The limo driver is exhausted, the people on the sidewalk are a mix of exhausted and excited (someone or five are recording this whole thing)

And Val TOWERS OVER THIS 5'11 ish (I forget maybe shorter than that) brick of a man and Greed just ALL UP in his business, tail rattling, big toothy grin on his face

It either ends with some pedestrian throwing water on them or enough honks that the two of them part ways, middle fingers sky high. Two turds just causing like MILES AND MILES of bumper to bumper traffic

Gesomon ok THIS IS STUPID AS HELL BUT HERE ME OUT but after one of their possession stints, Greed just taking Para out to a 50s style diner of sorts. Heaven or Hell, DEALER'S CHOICE, but the two of them end up sitting somewhere in the back (probably lookin' a little rough and beat to Hell)

And Greed just starts ordering shit for him. Burger? You got it. Chips? Absolutely. A milkshake that could absolutely kill a man? Add it to the list

And they end staying there for hours. Greed orders himself something (probably the most horrible shit on the menu), flagging down the waitress for cup after cup of coffee, black no cream or sugar. And yeah, he's going to tease Para for all he's worth, but the two of 'em end up laughing about the guys they took out. Not killing them, but definitely putting

the fear of Sin in them so that think twice next time they decide to pull some bullshit

ah, they went from the sin of greed to the sin of gluttony

I love how he spoils him so much

Listen ya gotta spoil your partner. And he'd definitely be checking on him between being an absolute piece of shit.

at least he's used to it by now

it's hard to tease someone who knows your very miiind~

Greed just all YEAH yeah yeah keep his secrets, would ya?

but it would definitely end with a motorcycle ride back to the 'Nest and probably at least 5 pit stops because avarice is as avarice does. SORRY BUDDY you're comin' with him

oh nooooo, anything but a fun time

can't believe he went from hiding in his hotel room all day to being a motorcycle pet

GET IN THE SIDECAR BUDDY here's some goggles, you're in for the ride of your life

Also I WILL HIT UP THE REST OF THESE when I'm back at function fucking junction and not ten seconds away from passing the fuck out

Get some sleep

I CRASHED hard last night so I will get back to this shit sometime today after some Friendsgiving shit THANKS FOR THE PATIENCE

creatura SKIDS BACK IN HERE ok my skull is barely working today but it's after hours, around that time period between like 3am and 5 where no one in the right mind should be up. And maybe Dante's had a few (both of the punches and liquor variety) and he's outside, about to light up a smoke. And then there's a huff of a match, a light

and Greed would be there, elbow propped up on a brick wall, smile as bright and terrible as he is, just humming. Probably saying something like: "Rough night huh, pissant?" and literally they can say nothing at all, or they could shoot the shit until the sun comes up. Maybe tossing a few more bottles back together, making for a collection in the alleway

for dawn. But whatever they say (or don't say), they simple understand one another. They don't have to spill it all for the two of them to just .. get it. And once morning actually comes, Greed would bring Dante out back, maybe get his ass patched up, and give him the keys to his personal room so the little shit could actually sleep through the night

POINTS TO THIS PLURK points to me I owe some shit here and I'll hop on this ASAP

liveralone FOR BULMA (and you can totally correct my ass) I figure he starts hanging around her makeshift shop a bit more, especially when he brings in any bikes to get repaired. At first, he doesn't bring shit. Just kind of comes in and leaves

BUT AS TIME GOES ON he starts hovering. Like a fucking buzzard and everytime he visits, he just silently brings something with him. Food, a drink, extra cash, some scratch tickets

And he'll sometimes just watch her work, tail swishing, maybe hovering about with that weird, almost innocent but not quite look on his face

But he always brings something without saying a single fucking word. Is that takeout in a plastic bag? Is it a pile of crumpled up $1 bills? WHO KNOWS but he always just silently drops it off as he walks on in like he somehow sort of owns the place