Instead of murdering you in your dreams, he appears in your dreams to be relentlessly smugly incorrect about things

You can’t get away

Every time you close your eyes, there he is, going, “heh. Uhm, actually, the American Civil War had nothing to do with slavery.”

The more I think about it, the more I think I’d prefer to just be murdered

A terrible fate,

Oh God. Yeah, just stab me please.