it is one year since I developed Covid

which means I have been sick for an entire year

...not much to say about this except it sucks

at least the phase of getting dizzy at everything passed but now it's just progressive muscle weakness

and fatigue

god I'm so tired of being tired I want to live not nap

gotta make a doc appointment this week

I also feel like all of this is my own fault for not eating healthy enough, not getting enough sleep, not wanting to be healthy bad enough, giving in to feeling bad too easily etc.

clearly if I ate my veggies and slept eight hours a night there would be nothing wrong with me

though I don't know where I'm supposed to get the energy to cook

and I have been trying to sleep more at night without much improvement on the feeling better side of things

and if I exercise I get sick so.........

it's probably bad that I just wish I was sick ENOUGH to get diagnosed with something

nah that's not bad that completely understandable and normal for chronic illness

yeah

tis the worst

I feel like lots of people with chronic illness do more than I do so I feel really guilty about not doing shit

but also doing shit makes me feel bad I don't like feeling bad!

this is why I like Harumasa because he also likes to take a lot of sick days and rest

the desire to be so dramatically, visibly sick that everyone is forced to Understand is pretty standard, yeah

yeah that's about the size of it

and then they'll be like for a whole YEAR you are so brave and we have a treatment for you

yes

the amount of time I spent on wikipedia symptom lists of various disorders going 'maybe I have THIS one' in my teens and twenties was. it was a lot.

also like. PEM etc when you overexert it does actively make your health worse, powering through is not a virtue

yeah exactly

and the likeliest culprit for my muscle weakness also activates during exertion

so if I do too much I feel bad immediately and then get slammed with PEM a day or so later as well

it's great!

super useful on all counts!

aren't bodies fabulous

truly wondrous things

here is my silly tip. you know what is great for veggies? a bag of frozen veggies, esp one that is made so that you can just slap it in the microwave and steam them in the bag or whatever.

and then you only need the energy to slap it in the microwave and eat them after having purchased them.

i feel like there is probably also a way to gently improve muscle strength without doing something that triggers the PEM but . i don't know what it is. it just sounds like a thing that should exist, somewhere, ....that's probably not very helpful

frozen veggies can be very good for that!

unlike fresh, they don't go bad at the drop of a hat

frozen veggies can also get mixed easily into things since they're often smaller. itty bitty broccoli bits? get in the macaroni and cheese. itty bitty carrots and squash or something? get soup'd.

even can get added to microwave cup noodles

my friends I promise I am aware of frozen vegetables lmao

the amount of cooking my brain (executive dysfunction) and body (everything in this plurk) conspire to let me do is maybe .5 out of 10

fortunately I am lucky enough to be able to afford takeout every day so I am getting sufficient calories but that would be a real problem if I wasn't

THATS FAIR.... i figured you would be aware of frozen veggies but i erred on the side of sounding silly if giving advice you already knew about

((i definitely have had friends in a similar position who keep buying fresh produce and then getting mad when it went off because they didn't have the energy to cook it and were too stubborn to admit it))

yeah I try to be aware of my food foibles lmao

sometimes you gotta admit defeat

I do occasionally buy like... a couple of apples or oranges but fresh produce and I are not often friends

apples and oranges at least last way longer than other produce

AND you can stick 'em in the fridge without compromising... anything about them. honestly i think bananas are the only fruit i know that get a little Weird if you put them in the fridge

(the same friend also did not realize that you could just refrigerate apples to make em last longer so i once again am obligated to mention)

I like a nice cold mcintosh apple!

tomatoes don't do great, if they count

texture gets mealy

sorry, brain just went to low-effort meal things =v=;;

I keep my bread in the fridge so it will survive my tendency to go in phases of whether or not I feel like eating bread lol

takes MUCH longer to mold that way

high fiving rose

i feel like htat might be an arizona habit but by god, you Know why we needed that habit

i still keep bread in the fridge just because otherwise you have Five Days To Eat It , Or Else!

(a little longer if it's a loaf vs like rolls but)

I should really do that when I buy bread things

trust me it beats throwing bread out because it's moldy AND, AND!!!!!!!!!, i bought this loaf of bread like three weeks ago now and it's still TOTALLY fine to eat

like texture wise i mean. it hasn't gone stale or anything

it's definitely a thing that some people do and some don't

my family never has? but we live somewhere cooler than arizona and eat enough sandwiches for it to not be an issue

and yknow, number of people eating the loaf

I like buying fresh raspberries, because I love them so much yet will always conquer the urge to Save Them For Later

there is no later.

this delicious treat will self-destruct in 48 hours.