since 1945

all british tanks

are built with a tea kettle inside

technically a "field boiling vessel" or FBV but it's a fucking teapot

listen

every British-mamufactured tank is REQUIREELD to have them

if you have to suffer through the horrors of war

you are at least entitled to a good fuckin' cuppa

nothing gets you thru the horrors of war like a nice cuppa

and this sounds so trivial and silly and already like a parody of British culture BUT THERE'S MORE

THE REASON WHY

is because all through ww2

genuinely

an OBSCENE number of tank crews were taken out

because the British take tea at predictable times

so German snipers would just set their watches and wait

and when the crew exited the tank for tea

kill them all

THIS IS A REAL PROBLEM

n o ohmygod

THEY COULDN'T STOP THE TANK CREWS FROM GETTING OUT TO HAVE TEA

Tank crews INFAMOUSLY often don't get out of their tanks TO RELIEVE THEMSELVES

but the fuckin British tank crews, FOREWARNED ABOUT THE SNIPER ISSUE,

HOLY SHIT

KEPT DOING IT

YOU COULDN'T FUCKING MAKE THIS UP

SURELY IT WONT HAPPEN TO THEM

IT'S TOO OVER THE TOP

I just

i cannot stop shaking with laughter

fuck!!

british tanks are required to be able to brew tea inside the tank because apparently this is an engineering issue

i mean like

good on them for solving it

and I'm also a little bit aghast at like.

do you know how many people have to die before a government will change military procurement specifications?

I don't have a specific number

just, enough that they invented the FBV

x times too many, that's what

What kills me is the predictable tea times

*I KNOW*

I just

you poor stupid dead bastards

this is absurd & tragic & I feel bad that I can't stop laughing

like i can understand the sort of

psychological touchstoning the human brain does

but holy fuck

that you might desperately need your scheduled tea time to stop you from going insane

or whatever

but

this is still fucking hysterical

yeah no like the "ritual of civility" absolutely it makes sense

yeah like. i'm thinking it's a choice between going insane or not being alert without the leaf juice or Dangerous Tea Time

also people keep trying to bust this "myth" by noting that the FBV's specifications on paper make sure it is a general-purpose boiling vessel suitable for any use

but nobody denying that if you look at the historical record, the reason WHY they added the FBV to basically every armored vehicle is exactly as stated above.

plainly recorded as the cause behind it.

my life is made better by knowing this

Me reading this plurk drinking a cup of tea lmao

Elle looked this up to verify and the reason this came about is because the British in fact lost fourteen tanks in fifteen minutes thanks to Tea Time

Oh my gog

I'm so sorry but this is so funny

tea or death and they got death

that's so.... British

Maniette: IT SOUNDS SO FAKE BUT WAS UNFORTUNATELY ABSOLUTELY REAL

mintSMASH reminds me of that old joke "Cake or death?" "Oh, I'll take cake"Eddie Izzard "Cake or Death" Sketch From Dress to Ki...

Not THESE guys

They’ll have the death