Tim Bradford: "You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in the court of law. You have the right for an attorney to be present during questioning, and if you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed to you. Do you understand each of these rights?"

DUI Suspect: Yeeess, sir!

Tim: "Now, you're required to provide a chemical sample if suspected of driving while impaled-- Sorry! I mean impaired-"