I gnaw on him. I put him in the pear wiggler.

I ask him how he feels about his mother.

"it's complicated," he says

"she died for me, because she loved me, but I wish she hadn't, because it turns out I would have been fine," he doesn't say

"I don't think I'm what she wanted me to be, and I'm not sure if I care," he doesn't say

relatedly I really want to see him and Phainon clashing over who gets to be main tank, there's a lot of messy shit there

because Phainon is a martyr looking for a cross, right

he does not meaningfully value his own life (doesn't meaningfully have an own life), compared to Succeeding At Saving People Like He Failed Before

and Mydei is highly sanguine (ha!) about his own "deaths", but if ONE MORE PERSON who claims to care about him dies protecting him from something he does not need protection from, he will turn and walk into the black tide himself