The floor is ice and I am just like WHAT IF I ... wait just a little bit longer

Me getting ready each night as I press as little of my feet against the floor as possible: fuck shit fuck ass fuck fuck ass shit

sticking my head under the faucet to rinse out my hair: mother fucking ass ass fuck

My lullaby is a constant string of expletives before fucking LEAPING into bed and throwing as many blankets over my ass as possible

(this is me, doing exactly what I said I would, and holding out just a little while longer before I gotta go do the do and go the fuck to sleep)

WHEEZE. what a mental image

a cold tony leaping through the air...

DrFishbone bsdkjg WELCOME TO my evening routine of just SWEARING in the bathroom, then SWEARING across the hallway, and more SWEARING as I bury myself in blankets

love_letters a single frozen man dodging cats and tossing his leather jacket onto the table at the foot of the bed just: FUCK ...

see this is why you have to bring a blanket to roll out as a rug path

YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT FUCK

big fucking brain move just SKID across the hall on it so I don't have to touch the fucking ice floor

SIGHS all right I've fucked off long enough

Time for the serenade of swears to begin

this is why i don’t like getting out of bed if it’s cold

bed is warm and toasty, outside is not.

YOU NEED RUGS

WE HAVE SOME RUGS BUT

RUGS DON’T MAKE THE AIR LESS COLD

BUT THEY MAKE THE FLOOR MORE TOLERABLE

fish is right

THIS IS VERY TRUE just gunna start covering the whole upstairs in various rugs so I can leap from one to the other as I swear from the bathroom

the floor is LAVA

(except the floor is ice)