Finally a meme I can do with colorful variations on the many things wrong with Walter.

ew bc Walter is like his little brother even tho he's older bc his personality reminds Malcolm of his little sister and he's responsible for him.

Excuse you! He is only a spoiled privilege millionaire thank you! more than $1M but less than $10M!

That is also sort of little sibling energy for this one percenter XD

because pyotr isn't gay!

Walter who thinks that Pyotr is too young for him and also that Pyotr is gay: [elbows braced on the speakeasy table, head in hands]

Yelena doesn’t really date, and also it would be a disaster.

They should catch a movie or something next time they’re in a modern-ish port, though. Friendly-like.

over half the people on the barge: happily paired/polypuddled off. experiencing coziness during the cold flood
Walter: I have been on the barge one entire year and I will ask the woman who winked at me at karaoke half a year ago to see a movie

god now I'm just laughing bleakly to myself. if Yelena happens to say first "hey, movie?" and Walter is like "yes sure!" (oh my god. this is the moment) and then midway through tries to hold her hand and she's just "...uh."

Oh no.

polypuddle is such a fun word for it

I like that Walter is reaching for the moon XD

Frankie is gone so when Yelena says no he is gonna pretty much be out of options

Polypuddle encompasses the closed and open ones so it fits here!!

he could join a polypuddle!

NO THANK YOU

yeah man Malcolm feels the same way

Walter would do an infidelity tbh

he will just have to date Pyotr

like he would not have a partner and cheat on them. but if someone comes to him "I have a partner but I like you" he would consider it.

Walter doesn't want to date a 27 year old twink.

who wants to set the world on fire

And Pyotr wouldn't date him either. He is not attracted to Walter that way.

I do write a lot of my villainous characters as willing to be involved in infidelity. and it was funny writing that, like. Pyotr told Walter he is NOT GAY and if things were different he would be happy to settle down with A WOMAN. and Walter is honestly here like. you know what. if he marries a woman and actually hooks up with a man, more power to him

(a man who is not walter because they are not attracted to each other)

Sorry, I thought Pyotr being 26/27 was the bigger issue than Pyotr being a serial arsonist and a murderer

Pyotr ruined a marriage without even actually sleeping with the woman...

the amount of stuff Pyotr has actually done is fine. Walter more just knows he is not an actual nihilist who could make Pyotr happy

But the husband thought they did have something like that, and it seems many people assumed it, though the narrator states clearly there was nothing between him (and I believe Anton Laurentyevich there).

between them*

Sometimes I do want to put Pyotr in a ship (though not with Walter) tbh so that he can be anything other than miserable.

He could never do a polycule though, never

Walter is the kind of person who seriously feels a new crush tugging him away from an old crush

If Pyotr would just get a crush on someone else, he'd be so much more normal

small brain: (I'M SAYING THIS JOKINGLY. IT'S A MEME. THEY ARE BOTH SILLY STATEMENTS) Vincent thinking that excessive "WE NEED CHANGE OR ELSE" will endanger them with reduction in graduations
big brain: we need to increase distrust, so we can draw out someone for Pyotr to crush on, and that will distract him from blowing up the barge

LOL

Pyotr having an internal battle between "oh no, i can't let the Barge 'win'" and "but he's really hot.."