Hmmmm

There's some notes about pride and women's rights vs. Comfort zones and the tension between society and self that I haven't fully gotten an angle on to express to others yet

But I'm doing the supreme coloring thing to highlight it as much as possible for others. @handsoplenty @moosechangerpat kopperhed

supreme coloring thing?

Something about
1) women are less likely to be both encouraged to be selfish and less likely to see themselves in narrow terms of prioritizing closeness (women are more community oriented => men tend to be more "soldiers" in having direct hierarchies of prioritizing the immediate)

2) the obvious social[ly engineered] sexism of "men in charge. Women subservient" so even wherein men/women don't want it, it gets forced on them. Thus by the time of this, women are already used to having to accept that society is this way. Forever uphill climb etc.

3) ????? => is natural empathy at play in that women don't like making choices they know will affect others / men are either by hormones/neurology or societal pressured to be less empathetic ? and/or how much

=====> final note on personal level

I gave moosey my reins on safety after my coma because I couldn't trust myself during covid, I was so desperate to return to kyle/NY and my parents' place was lethality too or just "worse than death"

But I did worry about the number of stress that did on him in February 8||||| he held up admirably, but I'm taking it back.... partially now. Sloooooowly. With a lot of prayer, doing my best not to duplicate Emi in Katawa Shoujo and go. Slowly.

It's definitely weird to constantly go the full spectrum on variety here.

Obviously I can see for my dad where the control thing is so hard on him to let go (soldier, had to be adult as a child, etc. Mom doesn't like being in control adds to it) and the final thing is the cfids which is like verrrrrrrry finite balancing act

So I think ==> Ellen (my mom's bff) earlier mentioned how disabilities do give us special insights because of our coping techniques that can apply more broadly, which I agree with ==>

I think creating super clear guidelines Ala BDSM community style of "I haven't tried this yet so I don't KNOW if I like it or not. But I KNOW I hate [x]" can be suer helpful.

Some of the big dangers you can't know until you scratch the surface, but you can still learn it. Ie; I was managing finances, but I fucked up huge not checking every single bill and letting it go to the same (wrong!) Account. Or

[Xyz] is my big danger temptation. If I do [x] I get too close to [y & z] and then I get burned

So I hate making appointments. It's easier with just me and Kyle, but still hard because scheduling is a nightmare and not only is it not in my control, but I can't facilitate it to be either. 1] can't drive 2] can't public transport yet/still

It's key to 1] know this 2] know WHY so that 3] it can be worked around and one can figure out coping and extrapolation. Ie: mom makes appointments buuuut I still have to know when they are in order to meet them and have health set up to do necessary things etc.

handsoplenty: yeah not supreme, I don't know the word I was aiming for, but it's like a shadowing overlay where you can't see the footprint until you expand it with a plaster mold basically

oh huh