so don't stop me if you've heard this one

xiahou dun gets hit in the eyeball with an arrow

reportedly, he pulls the arrow out of his face and the eye comes with it

looks down, and says, sternly

"My mother gave this to me, and I am not yet prepared to part with it"

and

eats it

right off the arrowhead, like a goddamned shish kebab meatball

this was probably shock talking (if it really happened at all, which. shut up, I don't care)

What the fuck

holy shit.

but it also remains the single most metal thing I have heard of a human being doing (not the most badass, but the most metal)

while also being the single funniest reaction to being shot in the face

anyway Romance of the Three Kingdoms is WILD

i know id be intimidated if the guy i shot in the face did that

RIGHT

it's right up there with every variation of "I wouldn't advise shooting them, it'll only make them angry" but turned up to 11

but imagining it was just a shock reaction, what's even funnier to me is

yknow, at some point he probably eventually passes out

wakes up the next day. maybe he remembers, or maybe somebody has to tell him.

imagining him just being like "I did what."

"where did my eye go" "well, older brother, you, uh"

EXACTLY

vaguely related to this but there's the Netflix Dynasty Warriors movie

in the first fifteen minutes they're still going through all the setup, there's an audience at the Imperial Court, it's very serious & very tragic & solemn & whatever

one asshole in the back starts laughing about some tragic thing. he has not yet been introduced. he has barely appeared on the screen.

me: "Welp. There's Cao Cao."

(I was of course correct)

holy shit

lmao

but holy shit

Hehe. Yesss... =D

There are so many poor interpretations of this scene, but yes, quite metal. 🤘