i'm only a few hours in

sits here at once

i bought it used bc i heard all that shit going down and was not giving EA or bioware money

i made my rook; elvish shadow dragon. he is of course extremely handsome

i just did uhhhh what's that blighted town you visit before you finally get fast travel? whatever that one is

i'm very sorry to anyone who liked the game right away but this game is straight up bad

lmao yep

it looks a little weird and the UI is.....very confusing (especially compared to earlier installments) but i can get past that

but the writing....the pacing, the directing

bad

i'm not super up on my lore, esp the elven stuff; i remember hearing ppl pissed off about how much got ignored or just retconned entirely

but even just this far into the game i'm like....this feels like bad fanfiction of the actual DA game that was supposed to come out

very sorry to everybody who worked really hard on it esp the decent folks

but the dialogue is bad, some of the characters are bad

let me tell you how jarring it was for dalish to come rocking up to me and start speaking like colonel sanders and.....i don't even know what, in that order

I've heard it's like it's own weird game because it ignores or changes so much

i thought the dalish all were celtic/scottish accent types??? and like yeah obv lots of elves didn't talk like that, but these are DALISH

which yeah, sure, i can tolerate its own weird game ignoring its own canon, sure

IF

it was also good

it's not good!! i'm BORED

when i played DA (original DA before origins), even with how clunky it was, i was excited to keep playing it to the end

DA2 i couldnt put down

same with DA:I, played that MULTIPLE times

shit, i STILL play DA:I

this????? i don't want to play it

girl we pulled up to a CLEARLY abandoned dock and the dialogue was like "why is so quiet? this is a busy dock! there should be people here selling fish and having conversations! this is unusual!" "hmm yes something must clearly be wrong" LIKE?

GIRL WE ALREADY KNOW SMTH IS WRONG, THAT IS WHY WE ARE COMING HERE

two minutes after something happened, the characters reconvened and said "okay, so this is what happened" GIRL I DON'T NEED THAT RECAP??/ WE JUST DID IT

I’m 15 hours in, one of my characters is hardened (I genuinely didn’t care), and it hasn’t gotten better. I keep going back hoping it’s just my mood but I turn it off yearning for 2.

i don't even know what being hardened means and i don't even care to find out

i may actually take this game back

lmfao

we are at the blighted village that is clearly blighted because we heard something might be wrong and maybe we will hear about the blighted gods while we're here and then the mayor is like "the blighted gods blighted this village" and homegirl is like "THE GODS DID THIS???? D:"

girlfriend

we been knew this

idr where it happens but i especially like the friendship is magic speech where its like we can do anything if we do it together!! as friends!! and its like bro we just met like 3 hours ago

LMFAOSDF

look, did we as a fanbase bitch about traversing the hissing wastes? yes

was it NECESSARY for all the random dialogue to help form bonds between our found family? absolutely

i know i only just got fast travel so i'm hoping maybe i'm going to be unlocking larger areas but like

i have such a low opinion of the first few hours that i'm kind of not all that interested in getting more mid stuff

i'll go play ff14 or go back to my hardmode rebirth playthru

at least my rook is gorgeous

i loved harding so much in da:i and so far i'm just kind of "hey yeah harding.....that's right i like her...." and neve i'm like "yeah sure" and with bellana i'm like "when do i get to replace you"

THIS IS BAD!!!

they had to sideline the most charismatic character (varric) right out the gate bc they knew their asses couldn't write that dialogue!!!

LSO

ALSO

SORRY

THAT WAS SO FUNNY varric was like solas is my friend!! he'll listen to me, i'm gonna talk to him!!!! i'll convince him, i can do it!!

and he walked up there and he was like "solas ppl are dying!" and solas was like "everybody does D|" and varric was like ENOUGH TALK AND PULLED A FUCKING GUN ON HIM LMASLDGIUASODFIU

THAT WAS NOT SUPPOSED TO BE FUNNY BUT I WAS HOWLING

it was very funny

VARRIC!!!! I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO HAVE A CONVERSATION NOT AN OPENER TO DISTRACT HIM SO YOU CAN UNLOAD 25 BOLTS IN HIS BACK

bastard has been planning this for years you did not even try

varric: he just needs an excuse to not do it! I'll give him one!
rook; ok yeah go for i believe in you
varric, looking at solas: augh god you're like....doing something bad.....gosh how do i put this..........like, it's mean

GIRL HE IS THE DREAD WOLF

THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU STOP WRITING

you didnt even call him an egg head

Watched my husband play this and my fave bad line is etched into memory eternal
Some companion: wow! How can we even get up there?
Rook: there's always a way to get places

We've probably said "there's always a way to get places" 20 times since

Except a place with better writing. Evidently there's not a way to get there

It's colorful and seems fun enough but also just didn't feel super like a DA game???

Idk DA super well but it just felt very different from what I gathered through RP and such

Reading your plurk has made me feel more valid in that thought so thank you for sharing your sorrow

NO, PLEASE

"THERE'S ALWAYS A WAY TO GET PLACES" YEAH NO SHIT ASSHOLE THAT'S WHY THEY ASKED

yeah it felt like a game that wasn't DA but used DA words

i dunno maybe i'll pick at it when the ADHD brain is like "do a new thing" but otherwise

meh

the whole game feels very surface level dragon age. it felt as if the writers got out a rough draft and instead of letting them spit shine that bitch until it was great, execs read the first draft and went “good enough”

you KNOW half that shit is AI bc they fired the writers

you KNOW it is

"there's always a way to get places" chatgpt spit that shit nugget out

I genuinely wouldn’t be shocked but I’d like to think the writers (all let go now omfg) would out that shit.

NDAs are powerful things but it would be nice if it wasn't used

i don't believe it tho

I didn’t even consider an nda, you right. oh dragon age how far you’ve fallen rip sweet prince

Allegedly that actually is partially what happened. They were given an outline from the people that originally were working on it and then rewrote a lot of what the game was going to be? From what I read a long time ago

executives looked at every 6th page of the script and was like "i don't understand what's going on? where's my PA with my 3pm cocaine. add some explainers in there so the player understands what just happened because i don't understand and if i don't understand they don't either"

and then underpaid janice is like "sir....if you read the part the page prior where they found the body, most people can deduce that the person died-" and the executive is like "SSNRRRRRRTT what? get out of my office i have to watch pornhub on a company laptop now. who are you anyway. you're fired"

that was a totally real conversation I can see it clear as day. Poor janice

adds "there's always a way to get places" to the list of wacky lines people said alongside shit like "life needs things to live"

"people die if they are killed"

GIRL WHAT

harding picked up the dagger like "D: lyrium" GIRL WE BEEN CALLING IT THAT THE ENTIRE TIME

WE KNEW THAT

ALSO LMFAO WHERE THE FUCK IS NEVE???? IN THIS ENTIRE THING???????

SHE'S JUST CHECKING OUT HER NAILS SOMEWHERE ELSE WHILE...I DON'T EVEN KNOW.

LYRIUM POSSESSED HARDING?

god i cannot with this game i don't know if i can make it thru the game fellas

girlies

nonbinaries

hang in there, for the luls

i think i would need immediate luls to justify this

rebirth is RIGHT there, i could be playing that

or pumping up my crafting gear in ff14.........why this

play ff14 with me

ok

oh i probably need to update it anyway /goes to check

WOOF THATS A BIGGIN play rebirth for an hour or summat

LMAO ok

i had to turn it off this is so bad

my rook is beautiful but i dont think he's beautiful enough for this

his VA is familiar tho

..... that's not clive is it

HE'S A NOBODY????? damg

wild how some voices are just hella good and distinct the first go

32 mins... go faster i wanna playyyy

OK IM LOGGING IN WHEE

ok 1 sec

no rush at all taggin a bit

WHERE ARE U

I COME TO U

imma scooch this to ff4 plurk

yeah i don't think i can pick this game back up

unfortunately it has been too long for me to return it, so I'll probably donate it to the library

then other ppl can check it out and hate it too

such a noble sacrifice

luckily i only paid 30 bucks for it bc it did sooooo poorly

im still sorry it sucked for u it was really a toss up with everyone it seems

THAT'S OK i enjoyed roasting what i did

thorty dollars worth of roasting

shame i don't get to look at my rook's face anymore but hey. maybe i will just make yet another ff14 char abt it

thank you for your service

i still need one on oceanic days center for kj funtimes

yw