(this will take me a bit to actually do. but. )

it's here at least.

cr mE
one thing ur excited to do w azalea and one thing w moretta

tell me about 3 crs ur VERY excited about

freckledknight: I CAN'T DO THIS IT'S FAVORITISM

Yes you can

OK tell me about acidia feels

the real reason i can't do it is the tops dropped so I'm shuffling my priorities again,

what's something you're hoping to do with Valencia in Court? even if that's just in terms of an overall arc you're looking for

naiads: hi. azalea ... llloves...? aster...???????? she doesn't actually know where this goes on the level of "new feelings of love we're just discovering how to name, exactly" because for obvious reasons it's not like what she ever felt for her exes or actively feels for shura but. like. she knows it's There, sort of. she cares deeply enough about him

to like... think about him? and his wants? and the stuff HE cares about? even if she's not very attentive at all to those things if they're not directly said in her earshot or shown where she can see. learning he was amnesiac and she didn't know this whole time made her feel some kind of way and she doesn't particularly like the feeling

(the feeling is vague mortification and a sense of "i should have known this if i care this much, what the fuck?")

however she doesn't actually know how to put these feelings to good use beyond being ... kind of supportive, where she can be. dealing with so many teens on acidia has made her feel fortunate that she did not actually go through with having children with shura. which is something she's said in the past (wrt being on a murder boat) but feels more strongly

about now (wrt her ability to actually be a parent, which is none)

freckledknight: some of the acidia feels are addressed above in aster feels, mainly the "cares about them all and doesn't really know how to put that feeling to best use". she generally does not like being in a large group of people for long periods of time but acidia has been so lovely and considerate of her (and each other, in general) that it's really

upped the care factor. she ???loves??? them and finds herself thinking semifrequently what will happen when everyone's visions fall into line and if they'll still consider themselves family, then.

rahia: i deeply just want her to be comfortable enough with sex to ENJOY initiating sex. it's not impossible for her and it's definitely something she can and will do when she hits that point but she had a very very rough start to things when it comes to her confidence in that area

naiads: oh right forgot about. things i'm excited to do...
azalea: i actually have no plans right now, going forward. im excited for whatever aloe wants her to experiment with him with whenever mel's able to get back to that thread but otherwise i've got nothing

moretta: excited for her to join sun sign for real. before that of course is violently murdering aloe and also getting murdered herself so really this whole throughline makes me happy whenever that gets to happen

cr mee

scarletsteps: moretta on myn first bc easier: she likes him a lot and thinks he's very cute. there was a point in time where she considered getting closer to him, like, emotionally, especially because she had just recently had a bit of a Thing with aloe, but when she sort of... opened that door a little, to invite him in, and his reaction... did not inspire

confidence, shall we say, she put the brakes on that HARD and IMMEDIATELY. and instead just went back to friendly banter and vague flirting, though she (wrongly until recently) got the sense he didn't actually find her that appealing as a sexual partner. which was fine, because she just enjoyed being near him

the hard stop moment was this: which is kind of Nothing in the long run but it surprisingly hit her a bit hard

sorry for him... sorry for hymn...

JKSNHDFK

frankly she was just kind of comfort-seeking a little bit because she was feeling a bit desperate for it at the time due to (oh my god this bitch has no real friends) so him basically going "oh. sucks" made her be like oh my god this was a mistake. i need to shut up permanently

she does just want to be friends though. normal friends who just do normal things are fine. also she fully does not believe he'll call her while they're in port so she was just deadass lying to him about trusting him fjkdhsk

moretta on GRAEY. phew okay well. she is kind of miserable about him not because of anything he actually did but just her complexes and agonies surrounding the idea of the him she knows "disappearing" which is a totally new complex, along with her bone deep anxiety, that cropped up while existing on the ship. she did not have issues with the idea of people

"leaving" her before and now suddenly she does and frankly it's because she's forced to be in close quarters with everyone and bonding 24/7. she grows attached to people very easily but due to her work and frequent illness and her mother's general overreach she did not have much of a chance to BEFORE the boat.

she figured out the issue on that front pretty quickly thanks to vincent saying something like this totally unprompted but unfortunately knowing the problem doesn't stop the anxiety from happening nor does it stop her from being crazy about it. when it comes to graey specifically she was pretty content to like... just exist as

a fuckbuddy and maybe a lapcat or something. but then he had to go say shit like "i've got a good feeling about you" and unfortunately she's in love with him now (*it's probably not actual love. but Has Feelings for sure. feelings of some sort) and the recent vision share thread didn't exactly help matters. but in general she, like... wants to be around

him, wants to share things with him, wants to be on equal footing with him in as many ways as she can that keep him safe from the other Problem things in her life. but she also feels/senses that he just doesn't open up to her at all and she doesn't know what to do with that. she's grateful for the crumbs he HAS tossed her, but as ever she wants More

but she also respects him too much to push so she's just kind of... pawing sadly at his door and hoping he lets her in. she doesn't have much hope on that front tho, but that sort of hopeless feeling is more or less tied 100% into the fear-of-abandonment feelings that are involved with how folks around her take/see the visions. it's the same with cade, lith,

etc anyone in her life that's "changing" with visions where she is just kind of sitting there and going "please please please keep wanting me please" in constant refrain in her head. and desperately trying to be normal and casual about it outwardly

throws confetti i think thats it on graey.

holds her in arms

scarletsteps: grips you in my fist. reverse me also

actually everyone reverse me. come into my trap

kljdsf azalea help SHES CUTE

aster loves her and absolutely thinks the best of her...she's definitely COOL AUNT figure in his mind, and tbf he rly doesn't notice attentiveness or lack thereof HAHA. partly bc he DOES always think the best of people he cares about, and partly because like his attentiveness....standards....are very low bc of the gods

she did NOT put him on read for a year or years? amazing. she's so involved in his life. thank u

he really appreciates all the warmth and care and consideration she's shown him like...everything he told her when the boat docked was 100% sincere! being cared for means a lot to him, having his feelings taken seriously means a lot to him, and she's always very quietly and patiently done both

he thinks the world of her!!!

omg. baby