I feel bad about feeling bad

and I am struggling to want to do things? or to pick a thing?

I don't know how to describe

I think I get what you're getting at and I wish I had solutions, I've been there and it sucks

it's hard to talk about through the dual impulses of "no one will care and I'm sad about that" and "people will care and they shouldn't"

[spray]

oh excuse me on plurk it's

feeling two types of bad at once makes it harder to talk about

yeah it sucks. bonk

Yeah especially when they're conflicting bad

I'm feeling like my family isn't paying attention to me and I know it's my fault because I don't want to watch TV with them and I don't help enough with tasks for mom to have time or energy

but either way it's not something anyone in this space can help with

I'm trying not to cry because I don't want to hurt them but also I do

it's my own fault I don't ask to br hugged

I can't ask for more time and energy from them when they're tired and cranky and in pain, which is all the time

genuinely you are all in a toxic loop of feeling bad bc the others feel bad which is like. not a situation that you can easily break given the givens

/hug

I really hate the feeling of "I want to talk about this thing I'm upset about but if I tell someone about it and they feel bad for me I will then feel guilty for making them feel bad". it's a bad feeling

Also hate the feeling of "If they knew I was upset, best case scenario they'd feel bad, worst case scenario they'd start to hate me."

Rational brain knows it's not true but irrational brain...

I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. It sucks a lot

it would be nice, simply, if my mom didn't put things in the group chat like "I threw up, but it was just a mechanical effect from coughing so hard, so it's fine"

it should not be possible for the three-legged stool to exclusively have legs which are too short, and yet here we are