Have to wear cocktail dress to cousin's wedding -- I debated crossdress in suit but it's too attention-y since I'm not going trans and I don't want to muddy waters for trans brother AND /deep breath

I. hate. dresses. I always have, always will, they are such a -- everything I can't do, not me, pain

Always designed for someone flat as a board I sweaaaar

Can't do backless -- lung scar I'm proud of it but AGAIN WITH THE ATTENTION I WANT TO BE INVISIBLE THANKS

Hate pink, hate yellow, worried about black makes me look like funeral

Oh, that's rough. :C

So many are sooooo short and I'm like "well if I swing my tallest boots?

It has to at least reach around the neck or it's just BOOB MAYHEM

I hate dresses

Kyle's palpable excitement is cheering me up

we have like opposite reactions

how formal and what's your budget?

I'm so happy

This is one of the best days of my life

We get to go SHOPPING and i get to help her TRY THEM ON MAYBE

It's a dream come true. I've fantasized about this

What about a formal ish jumpsuit if you can't find a dress

https://www.kohls.com/..... I don't hate this as much as the others kopperhed

shihandai: definitely debated HEAVILY REST ASSURED

The other issue just comes down to bras because I have a sports bra top /wavers hand/ kind of. enough if there's enough covering

ALTHOUGH ^ That one has a weird back I'd have to switch bras-ish for

Oh nvm

that 10 is way too small up top welp

/DRINKS

Oh right I can't drink in this timeline yet

/cries

/stares into the distance

https://www.lulus.com/.....

I wish I could assist

The first one she shared is good taste

CC: "I can't do this or it's boob mayhem."
Kyle: !

If you hate dresses you shouldn't have to wear one! If you wear a women's trouser suit it won't look like crossdressing.

I've told her this. She is moderately unsettled at her families matriarchal structure

I for one am excited about the one time I get to see her in a dress. I'll shower her with love and gifts to soften the blow

why not just slacks and a fancy top?

Because it's not my function. Again, I debated just going full tailored suit/tie but it's just as much work and uncomfortable attention so I'm not going to be -okay- no matter what. ^ Kyle being ecstatic and giddy about matching me is helping

Might just do my best Mortitia Addams impression but with braids and just be like "this is fine" as it is covids not over, no one is getting the vax anymore I MIGHT be able to wear a mask myself idk

I had to miss my other cousins' weddings because of the lung thing already

https://www.marshalls.co... I do mildly hate jumpsuits less

291K views · 17K react... on FacebookThis made me think of the situation at hand

Rofl so i was joking about Robbie (mom's service dog) just eyes 100% glued to mom while I was holding him no matter how I turned or swayed, he moved his head to keep steady

And i waa joking he was like a chicken --

So when you're filming, even tripods CANNOT stay steady on a fucking speedboat you cannot fucking do it.

And obviously holding it raw you look like you're on parkinsons meds (the shaking is not from parkinsons, you get paralyzed, the meds make you less paralyzed but shaky is side effect)

So the hest thing to do is strap the camera on top of a chicken... and just hold the chicken

*best

Mom: wtfffff
Mom: does your father know about this???
CC: I have no idea \:|/
Mom: how did you knowwwww
CC: it's literally my job mom... but also remind ne to tell you about hynotizing chickens sometime
Mom: /like a 5 year old who has seen the most mindblowing magic trick ever

Also kopperhed see what I mean about arms??? Arms babe.

I say that but kyle will watch it 15 times and only see "heeee jiggly"

He said he waa happy to come rescue me as needed but the price is the bumpiest roads he could find rofl

Arms???

I'm serious, what about arms?

Bumpy? Do you need rescuing?

lol

Big boobs = big upper arms. If they're twigs, the boobs are fake or it's AI

I'm okay, please relax

Really? i need to pay attention to that

I've told you this why I'm so suspicious of skinny armed women like NAH FAKE. I mean not everyone had a weight lifting addiction and has AS MUCH lymph issues as me BUUUUUUUUUT

Lymph in upper arms is a definite corrallary to giant boobs.

*takes notes

I don't think it's 1-to-1 or anything, but there is some correlation there

but i think that has more to do broadly with patterns of body types

but body types are just statistical clusters at best anyways, so I'm not sure you can do better than weighting a wild guess

I said it's correllary

I stand by that

Like I don't mean exactly the same amount larger

just if they aren't AT ALL larger, then it's not real.

because AI doesnt' do this well, though eventually they might get better at it