喜歡每次犯蠢，男朋友都會回我“you banana”

每當我講肉麻幹話
我：why won't you let me love you?/ why won't you love me back?
他：too much effort

當他在打遊戲而我在一旁騷擾他

他：I would whoop your ass woman
我：kinky

他：get fucked
我：later

男朋友：拜託放過我

最近睡覺的時候男朋友都會把貓貓抱到床上睡（男友爸爸出國旅遊怕牠寂寞）
他：now I got a pussy on my left, one on my right

昨天他準備出門，我攔著他不讓他走
他（拿起皮帶）：move or I would whoop your ass with this woman.
我：yes, daddy.
他：you're such a pain in the ass.
我：yes, I am.
他：that wasn't a compliment!

How annoying do you want it?
Me: Yes.

（他打遊戲的時候我常常會抓他奶和摸他肚肚）

他：RAPE!! I'm gonna tell the police you were sexually harassing me! you're going to jail for this!!

我：oh really? and you think they will believe you over me?

他：of course. anyone with eyes can see I'm the poor, helpless victim here.

我假裝要咬他，他就會下意識防衛
我： the hell are you doing?

他： no biting, woman!

我： awww... I would never do that to you, baby. you're just being paranoid.

他： how can you even sleep at night with zero conscience?