Part of it is because I feel physically sick. Just doing a bit to help out around the house, just drinking something, has left me nauseous and not able to take another antiemetic

my hand got cut because when I went to catch a container, a steak knife flipped out and got me right in a crease. luckily, it just did a ton of tiny pricks instead of slicing me open

not that I would've woken up or asked for help, because literally no one is in a state to be bothered right now

and i'm so angry, knowing someone is heartsick. I don't know why, but I just imagine not taking any of my meds ever again, or eating

just do chores and drink things, and stay holed away from people

this is definitely the ideation and intrusive side of my brain, not entirely things i'm really going to do

the nausea is going to stop me from eating, though. i literally can't eat while nauseous like this

Oh no ;; I hope you feel better

At least you realize it's just the bad idea goblins popping up for a game of wack-a-mole. I was going to suggest maybe trying to drink some broth if you have any to get in some nutrition if you think you can mange. Either way I hope you feel better soon

too many liquids is kinda making it worse. i think i have to wait some time for it to ease up

That's fair. Here's hoping it settles and you feel better

oh honey ;_; you can always wake me for first aid

I'm glad you can tell it's brain gremlins

yeah, but i'll probably tell belinda that it's been getting a bit rough, as that appointment's tomorrow

intrusive thoughts are unfortunately a major symptom of OCD that take on new forms not related to the OCD bugs when you have other illnesses and stressors. because fuck brains.

yeah telling Belinda is a very good idea

sometimes i forget that i have major depressive disorder... until times like these

y e a h

do recommend an antidepressant, I finally went on one in addition to the mood stabilizer and the difference has been huge

well, savella is an antidepressant and meant to help with ocd, but i guess a supplement may be needed

yeah the savella helped my mood a lot just by lifting the brain fog but it doesn't really Act Like An Antidepressant for me

interestingly the US doesn't even consider it on-label for depression