a text I sent to my mom and sister

things are going great

no realtalk he woke up from his nap and did the thing so we’re thrilled

yeeeah progress!!

Yeaaahhh!!!

no-diaper days are imminent

I do't know if Hope told you that we spend the weekend with our friends whose two year old was on day three of potty training

so I feel your pain

(when it's hard)

oh man great job to callen and to yall

oh man

I mean it’s just an expected kind of day one imo, he’s starting to get it

the way this has taken up 100% of my bandwidth today lmao

it is so similar to house training a dog

day two: if I never see a penis again it will be too soon

we have reached the stage of “awareness of what needs to be done but pees on the floor anyway bc he’s busy”

conceptually relatable

pro...gress...

this is kind of hellish I’m not gonna lie to you

I don’t mind cleaning up it’s just the, in dog training terms, capture

catching him before he can do it and redirecting

even puppies sniff around first

the experience so far has been “there isn’t a puddle on the floor and now there is one”

mid day two update: this sucks and I hate it

trying to stay positive!!!

It's tough! But it'll get better

does not sound fun!!!!!!!

we’re two for two on peeing in the correct place today. I am cautiously optimistic

I’m a bit worried that we’re stressing him out, this has been a lot on everybody

and the worst thing we can do is build up a lot of anxiety around it

we are all hashtag doing our best

you're all doing great. it'll get there.

yeah this seems like a particularly difficult part of parenthood

survival horror phase

or one of several

basically

now he’s fighting naptime. chaos levels heightening

youre doing great!

godspeed u strongest soldier, you’ll get through it <3

lol we are miserable

me @ Chris like I’m going to show you something that will make you insane

which is this

we brought him in to daycare this morning like god we tried

and the teachers were like no problem take him into the bathroom where he immediately pees in the toilet

COME ON MAN

anyway I feel good about bringing him back today bc things were getting high tension over here and it will probably be better for everyone mentally to drill in the routine via school

oh my god hahaha

well he got home and we let him vibe for a bit, offering the potty like forty minutes later and when I tell you this kid just about started a riot

you’re supposed to be like “it’s time to go potty” and he was like FUCK YOU. NO

I’M NEVER GOING BACK

me: [drinking whiskey from the bottle after he goes to bed] maybe we’re too high strung

we’ve discovered we can get him to sit on the toilet longer with the help of cat compilation videos

it’s the only time he gets to look extensively at a Device that isn’t FaceTiming family

or watching super kitties on an airplane but that’s rare

he did pretty well at daycare this week. some accidents still but it can take up to two months for a neurotypical kid to really get it

who among us has not sat on a toilet and looked at cat compilation videos

absolutely tmi but this is the thread for it: last night we successfully got a #2 in the right place and angels are singing

Yeahhhh!! Congrats

WOO