at one point in the dream, which was about half lucid, my three siblings were there, as guardians or dream elements designed to keep the dream on the rails. this was annoying me.

So I said "Teresa, turn into a wombat and burrow away," and she did

"Thomas, turn into a toucan and fly away," and she did, but flew right back

"Luke, you are a mute, mustachioed Mexican gunslinger. You don't speak or understand any English; and I don't know sign language."

later I was attacked by demons from KPop Demon Hunters who would be destroyed by the touch of anybody with a dick. But they were super strong and knew martial arts, and I did not. So I summoned fifty giant neon blue jelly dildos like magic missiles, which flew around

like goddamned Space Invaders, or, I dunno, geese

after the demons. killed all the demons but the restaurant I was in had to shut down because all the staff had been demons

these are, you understand, only highlights from the dream

fuckin

WHAT?

WHY A GUNSLINGER

a call to remember well your father’s face?

flying dildo storm....

fifty of them. two 5×5 grids.

okay but you left out the part where I was a reality bending toucan who could violate the laws of physics and or causality - but if called on it would have to go back and do it right

you telling me the door I opened had been locked so I couldn't just open it like that, and me exasperatedly shutting the door and then picking the lock - again, as a toucan - is my favorite part