I got sick of being in HR. So I set up a company, bought a business and..................... Spend my days dealing with personnels' drama anyway! Guuuyyssss I so tired I do not want to boss, I do not even want to human right now 
I can so relate to that.
I don't know if you can hire someone in the US, but my sister has an HR consulting business. Not sure that would work for your since I know you are in another country, but I gotta talk up my sister's business!
DM me if you want contact details
walk up to the biggest employee in the cafeteria and punch them as hard as you can
wait I might have that confused with something else