here it is

I've just started reading it but I am very uncomfortable by how the preamble is written here.

I have no idea what this is about but there's definitely a priming the pump sort of thing going on in this first bit. TRAGIC and FEELS and DEVASTATION.

is it accurate? Who knows. But starting out like that is deliberately setting a tone. If you're there to supply facts you supply facts not a dissertation on your feelings.

yeah that's how i'm feeing

he could be entirely in the right here but the final paragraph of it had me leaning back from the screen

It has a very manipulative feeling even if all his ducks are organized and he has reciepts for everything.

and there really isn't 'alternative facts' IDK why he's gone out of his way to write a whole paragraph on how there can be

I don't have much interest in reading the whole thing. I don't care about the sex or gender of the writer, it's heavy handed with MY FEELINGS THEREFORE, FEEL BAD FO RME.

bro wtf are you even talking about anymore at this point

NO FOR FUCKING REAL

like okay if this is a case of mismatched comfort levels or miscommuniations of consent - say that.

only thing i knew about this was adorabunny or whatever posting censored screenshots of a convo with redclaw on twitter and then peacing out

yeah i'm a little like...

she had to do one last bullshit thing to try and take the heat off her before leaving

yeah idk anything about who this is or what's going on but literally by the 2nd second here i was like hm wow so this is like pretty impressively weasel-wordy then

i'm at the point where she explains things to him rn and i'm a little like... no, her behavior does align with someone who felt a boundary had been crossed. but it sounds like she was still trying to salvage the relationship and trying to meet him in a neutral place.

how curious and clearly completely innocuous,

there it is

oh my god

this rubs me the wrong way right here

i'm very like

oh

oooooooooh my god

this poor girl

she never shared these allegations publicly, other people just heard them and ran with it

she never shared these allegations publicly, other people just heard them and ran with it

yeah like i said, adora posted it to her twitter before fucking off which is fucked up

i'm actually kind of angry at taka for making a doc about her and not the people who chose to run a weird psuedo-smear campaign against him publicly actually. because screenshots of people saying she's doing this aren't the same thing as her... doing... those things.

yeaaaaah

like i'm sorry if you two were in bed together and she was sleeping or not fully conscious, and it's like the second time you've met in person, maybe... don't.

i'm also kind f

i would like to see these screenshots actually

also with this i will saay it sounds like she wanted him to meet her in more neutral territory to feel things out before being alone with him. and he hits her with a guilt trip about it.

wow he really said "she totally led me on so of course i didn't like being rejected despite having been SO cool and infinitely patient and understanding about the friendzone and just, being friends" as a defense huh

this right here paints a very different picture than he's presenting

holy fuck dude

i forgot he also preps this part by saying he took an antivan and he's out of it which, valid or not, is kind of wild considering her dismisses her feeling out of sort because of her medication and maybe is not inn the rigt mind to give consent

yeah, no, this is not it my dude, she clearly didn't want to come out and he pressured her

i

yea

this is so disappointing

dude she offered to get you a fucking hotel room

again i am noting that he did not include conversations about the planning

which considering she states in these messages that he picked a terrible place is!!

but he includes the awkward sexting?

fuck man

what the fuck

yeah but even if she was fully in on the planning and ready to meet up, she clearly changed her mind, does it suck to do so last min? yeah, but like...

yeah i had to skip over that cuz ew

that didn't need to be shared

yeah no

he also booked the trip in london without like consulting her on if she was comfortable or could accomodate that and that's a yikes

even in the awkward as fck text exchange with the sexting she mentions being worried about being stranded in london

like

all he had to do was own up to the fact that there was a misunderstanding between them. she didn't publicly evicerate him - his idiot former friends decided to make weird, vague public statements instead of just saying they fell out

it is perfectly okay for this girl to be like, "hey actually i kept saying i wasn't in a good place for this meetup in this way, i offered alternatives, he didn't take them, and then i felt he pushed me into having sex with him" because that is the truth as he himself admits it in this document.

yup

her "your behavior on thursday was abhorrent" doesn't just refer to their intimacy, it refers to like... all of this.

he seems to have made a bunch of plans without checking in with her on these plans.

where the fuckup happened was her idiot friends running to each other to psst psst psst about it

like did te person who shared this with so and so even have her consent to do this? who did they get the info from???

oh

the text messages even have er saying she's drugged up

holy shit dude

SHE LITERALLY SAYS IT IN THE TEXT

yeah no this document shouldn't have been about her and i am horrified

this poor fucking girl just said what happened

whether he knew or not is beside the point, she was within her rights to cut ties with him. this is also not covering how he was in person since she mentions repeatedly she was uncomfortable with how physical he was with her

i genuinely think this could have been done without any malice or ill-intent on his part.

but this document bothers me dude

like plan... a meeting. seven days tgeter is a lot

i'm like??? i just had this conversation with my friend from the states whose coming up!

we're not even dating (though being real it's getting flirty and i swore i wouldnt date cross country again bc the logistics are a nightmare) but we had a lengthy conversation about his comfort with travel and hotel, we looked at venues and places together

the way how in the screencaps where he says he thought things were romantic and she literally says how she never lets people get close to her in general but she wants to give him that chance because she likes and trusts him enough to put herself in what is, to her, generally an extremely uncomfortable position she does not put herself in for almost anyone ,

and somehow that was her misleading him as opposed to simply not instantly having a perfect and prescient understanding of feelings she rarely ever experiences (so therefore it's significant regardless of the specific kind of feelings) so

YEAH

she's very very obviously still working out whether the nature of those feelings even IS romantic or platonic or maybe something else...

YEAH

like dude are u kidding me

like the sexting is cringey but admittedly half the time it looks like she's trying to turn it into a joke or pivot away

i got that from a single screencap of ur texts

she's going to be eviscerated and she isn't even the one who shared this and was adamant it not be public

some fucking morons made it public

again like show the planning texts man

show me where you looked at hotels together and discussed how easy it was to get to and from there

yeah exactly and like i completely know the feeling of not actually being sure if your feelings for someone really ARE romantic, and not really knowing what else to do with them when the other person also keeps aggressively flirting with you back

but even in the "romantic" screencap she mostly just sounds corned whenever he gets particularly explicit

YEAH

even this is llike

"I want to make sure you do the thing you MOSTLY CAME HERE TO DO" and e's like "no i want to hold you" and she kind of HAHA's abut it

whatever your expectations are online change when yu meet someone in person

like the more i read the more i'm like... oh her expectations were they're going to go on some nice dates and get to know each other. and his expectations are they're gonna fuck day one

mmm especially the baby trap mention that's a big old yikes for a first time meeting. i don't know what their dynamic is outside of this but she's not recipriocating as hard as he is

OH MY GOD I DIDNT EVEN SEE THIS FUCKING TRIGGER WARNINGS ON TWITTER

TW: Emotional abuse, gaslighting, slander, defamatory accusations, drug use, accusations of assault

excuse me?????

🔥Mistress Doom🔥 (@mistressdoomvt) on X

oh my GOD

like i'm gonna admit again idek who these people are or the situation beyond this plurk but based on his own words + caps alone i am forced to not only conclude that 1) he is deliberately obtuse about both the enthusiasm of her participation (which he then uses that to keep pushing things further) and also

2) so unbelievably blind to every single one of her own feelings if they are not aligned constantly with what he wants her to be feeling [and specifically, for/about him] that i cannot believe he didnt know what he was doing, and if he truly did not then he needs to simply not fucking be interacting with people that intimately,

and folks already got youtube vids up

fucking hell

3) especially people who clearly need to get some active/reciprocal emotional support FROM their partners, 4) he's unfortunately probably done this kind of thing before and will probably also do it again and obv i can't actually know or prove that and maybe i'm completely wrong but likeeeee atp the behavior kind of speaks for itself

I am so heartbroken for this poor girl.

Like dude she's allowed to tell people what happened.

You admit that's what happened.

and again i don't even think he was being deliberately malicious or trying to harm her. but it doesn't change tht it did.

and like what do you mean that you didn't know she had a carer before you went over... how well do you know this girl

and like you're not. out money. if she's covering another hotel for you to meet her and get to know her where she's a little more comfortable. it sucks, but she very clearly didn't want to be alone with him without a contingency.

she even says its due to trauma

also jawdropping is the way he interrogates her about caring for her dog as if somehow actually makes a difference whether or not she 100% LITERALLY and physically does have to be the person taking care of it or maybe just wants to be the one to do it because . she loves her dog

and no one ever wants to just be constantly anxious the whole fucking time thinking about whether whoever you decided could also help take care of it instead can REALLY be trusted to do it right etc...?? meanwhile he also barely even offers her any compassion about it literally the whole time

no really he just apologies for sounding cruel but doesn't take ownership of that problem. and it's wild because she's offering him alterntives the entire time.

like "i will literally pay for you to spend this night closer to me so we can test the waters and i can be comfortable" and he's like "but i'll be out money"

which yeah sucks that the hotel room goes unused, but you can still throw your stuff down there since the thing you apparently came here to do is in london

and again like his behavior prior to this trip is what i want to know. it sounds to me like she thought he was coming up to do things in london and see her as a bonus, not to go to spend a week with her... that would've resulted in mutually discussing and agreeing upon a hotel.

LIKE I WAS LOOKING AT HOTELS/AIRBNBS WITH A FRIEND FROM ANOHTER COUNTRY TWO WEEKS AGO. LENGHTY CONVERSATIONS WERE HAD ABOUT COMFORT WITH DRIVABILITY?

also mmm the whole . guilt tripping AGGRESSIVELY for her to come alone to meet him somewhere that is also not somewhere comfortable to her because it isn't very close to where she lives so presumably she also won't have the same kind of support of friends/family/overall familiarity in the area either,

it's a lot.

Her texts also make it sound like a conversation happened about how she just wanted to be friends too

like

i need to reread the wresting texts to really line up my thougts

ALSO

I find it really interesting that there's no mention of their demeanor or how she interacted with him.

he also does not include any texts of checking in on her to make sure se got home.

the conversation also picks up after she's invited him back to her place

or not her place, but hotels near her home

Oh

yea

tht's the one where she is clearly talking to him about his behavior

oh yeah no

he is leaving out massive context

so like

gestures

not the XDs...

oh

yeah

the guilt tripping starts again after she gives him an olive branch

so here is her telling him "i am not comfortable with your behavior, but i am not closing this door"

again it's acknowledged that something was mismatched and miscommunicaated

ah

yeah there it is

i was wondering why the relationship shifted from "i am happy to hang out with you in aa space i'm comfortable with to test the waters" to "i am puling back completely"

i actually don't have words for this

again she unabigiously states he was pushing her and asking too much