just kidding it has to update

Lol

my babies.

the budget increase lmfao

an auspicious beginning

“let’s go and strip, Henry” ok i was already in it but

I love this stupid pointy nosed man

whispers into a bullhorn maidens...

F

the way these two share a brain cell and it’s not always working

Mutt best boy...

pointy nosed master of subtlety

so subtle

Hans Capon’s terrible horrible no good very bad day

I love him so

did you pick (Swear)

OH BOYS NO

I think I maintained bitchy silence

he has stalked off in his underwear to confront our guy though

I’m dying game of the year

Last night was Henry’s half-health adventure as he went looking for mutt and got attacked by just so many wolves

The one downside to starting the new game is all combat skills are dick again

Please warhorse I worked so hard

I still haven’t found mutt by the way

so far most of my deaths have been to canids

sounds about right

I got my puppy and solved a murder and am trying to prevent another murder

I want my horsey

also people need to keep better track of their daughters in this place

definitely thought with was your rl plurk for a second

I’m best friends with the cumans now

ooh buddy you bet your ass I'm gonna paint that fuckin bull

I drugged him last night but had to wait a while for him to fall asleep so I'll pick it up again tonight while I also investigate The Hermit tm

That cuman quest. Mwah. So good.

I beefed it on many levels but they still seem to like Henry

much like with the Bozhena Situation (not gonna elaborate here since it's so much) I think I suffered from doing the quest before my speech was sufficiently uh Enough

that's life baby

so many early game speech failures

unless you're playing it for the second time and know some magical trick to levelling it up first i think that's inevitable

ok whew

dude I Fucked the Bozhena storyline

I was like no I'm not gonna kill this guy just because you asked me to sorry I know he sucks

everyone involved: fucking dies

I DID THE SAME THING like why is Henry going to murder a man for these reasons, come on

he's a good boy

I found out how it resolved by walking up to a tree like oh damn there's a pers--

hahaha yep.

holy shit I better go talk to bozh--

tango got to experience this in realtime because I had just asked them about something else

and I was like hahaha you're so rightWHAT

i could not bring myself to send Henry back there after, i was like well hope she lives a long life on her own bye

you were wise

in my innocence I was like oh she's gonna want to know

maybe I can ask her what happened

rip

I've resolved not to fuck up the romani plotline as a result

but I do have to reiterate people need to keep better track of their daughters

henry of skalitz, daughter finder

his bestie, incidentally, also a finder of daughters

henry, daughter finder (affectionate)
hans, daughter finder (derogatory)

Really unfortunate that i like hans so much

same

wait how exactly the fuck am I supposed to find a nail in this field

ran into hans at the wedding... I smell shenanigans

I missed him so

BOYS NO

I’m glad Godwin is here but I miss his old voice

aw Radzig and Hanush... my besties

i was mad about Godwin's voice myself but this VA is great, he'll grow on you

ok fine

I managed to save hansy from the gallows but he’s still stupid and I still love him

Henry carrying sacks: not even once

imagine ever not choosing pebbles

I will defend her honor day and night

Jesus Christ Klara subtle much

wtf I didn’t mean to- well okay

I’ve been telling everyone else about Theresa 😔

I savescummed, my Henry’s no slut

lol nebakov sus beyond reason

that's a strange way to spell totally normal

you’re right my mistake

Absolutely nothing to see there

oh boys no/we’re really in it now lord semine

von Berkow seems really above board. it’s too bad we’re hiding from him that we killed his insane general guy

and saved the Semines

now it’s time to party and be best friends

I have Henry stay judiciously silent every time Hans and von Bergow are talking

shhh peasant

lol god this long battle on the road. I almost got it the first time but I reloaded bc I didn’t realize the chamberlain dies no matter what

I’m booboo the fool

now I’m doing it 800 times

I did it I got through

ooh it’s this guy

I’ve seen him in the memes

now to fight him 800 times

lol Godwin’s the fucking man

lmao Istvan like LOSE MY NUMBER BITCH

yelling “where’s my sword” at him every chance I get

I love to play Henry as a credulous himbo

Hans’ shrill little “what the fuck was that” I’m losing it

anyway Nebakov confirmed normal

Soooo normal

CANNON???

that’s cheating

we’re still going back to Rattay right

Hansy no... keep your hands off my wife von Bergow

Godwin

I’m literally so fucking dumb

my princess (Istvan) is in another tower (the one across the castle from where I went despite seeing the map)

you're just rping it's fine

true

man I really don’t want to kill Istvan dishonorably but I cannot do this fight fifty more times

I’ve spent my entire irl night just getting here lmao

I think Henry lets his anger win this time. rip

I did have him do a little bit of torture as a treat before so it’s not unprecedented

haha. i did the same - went into that fight without any master strike to cheese him to death and got frustrated with skipping the cutscene over and over

still!!!

got my sword 😉

getting to him is so much work and then you get there and he kicks your ass. just like life - yay!!

oh my god THE KEYS

HENRY.

everyone stop telling me how to fill my hole

thrilled about this passageway bc I discovered it by accident while looking for the hermit

kuttenberg I am in you

poor heinrich tried to beat up a pickpocket, failed, and got a whuppin’ about it

I couldn’t pay the fine... I failed my boy

he had just come from the wine tasting so I really enjoy the optics of just yes hello si si I am fancy wine man from Italy-that motherfucker just took my dried perch I gotta gettim

I got in extra trouble bc mutt helped me. truly there is no justice

I did several sneaky crime missions last night and I didn't get caught. truly I am unstoppable

(I stole the guild sword for the German sword guys and I stole stuff from the winery for the wine guy)

I played the long game and did a full day of work at the vineyard before I stole the wine stuff. that guy will never trust a new hire again

omg

i didn't know you could be a criminal!

oh yeah you can go a real asshole route, which I don't because I'm a weenie/too bad at lockpicking & pickpocketing

but there are some quests that require a little bit of mischief no matter how squeaky clean you're trying to go

the stress of pickpocketing doesn't balance out the reward unless you really love pretzels and 6 groschen

every time I think I might have to lift someone's keys I break out in an irl sweat

I also just like to stick as close to 'dumbass whose heart is in the right place' as possible. he'll steal something because a nice person in trouble asked him to, not just For Money, that sort of thing

neutral good

he's very easily riled up for the cause

that's quality gameplay

delightful

someday i'll get to play it...

Im trying to fight strnad bc he wouldn’t talk to me and we are just FIGHTING FOREVER

this game is long

I failed Menhard and now sir fuckface wants 1000 groschen to teach me swords instead? get real

I am Wanted in Kuttenberg for running into too many people on my horse

please remember me as I was

on a horse

lmao fuck Henry Meets His First Black Person

yay you got to Musa. he is extremely cool