Getting increasingly despairing of my ability to find another job without completely pivoting my field of expertise

No one is looking for technical writers anymore because it's vastly cheaper to just pay one person to correct the mistakes AI makes

Feels like my friends are all just hovering around the fucking poverty line passing the same 20$ back and forth while that 20$ gets weaker and weaker and weaker

Costs 200$ a session for therapy

My meds are like 70$ a month

I'm fine on money, but I can't...afford to slip even once. I can't afford luxuries like new games or new clothes if someone isn't offering to buy them for me

Combined, the various surgeries I would want are, EXTREMELY lowball, 52,000$

And I keep getting rejections

Just feel so goddamn powerless

sex work is calling to me again like the green goblin mask and on the one hand obviously it's work and people who do it deserve all the respect in the world

On the other it's

Not something I want to immerse myself in again

And if I do start doing it again, then manage to find another job and it comes out that i used to do sex work, I'll probably lose THAT job

Because of the fucking neo-puritanical society we're fucking diving into again

But like...I could dictate my own hours somewhat

Which is...a genuine upside compared to most jobs

What I should do is focus up on getting my graphic design certifications and pivot into that kind of role

But again, not making money beyond my side writing gig for right now

(Which has its own issues, though my boss is vehemently anti-genAI thankfully)

And turns out when you have a girlfriend who lives on the other side of the country that you would like to see, having extra money beyond paying your bills and rent each month is kind of even more important than it already was

Meanwhile the government is acting like a fucking podcaster is some kind of holy martyr

People are getting fired because they just repeated the actual words that he said in critique of him

I've got my name change hearing coming up on OCT 22nd and I've been on the precipice of cancelling it four times because I'm so fucking scared of what the world is now

(That was another 400$ btw, and if the judge decides "actually fuck you" I'm fully just out that money with nothing to show for it.)

It's just kind of an unending stew of bullshit that makes it really hard to be a ray of sunshine sometimes.