steeples fingers. i am an entrepreneur. i have big dreams. i also want to just live my life sometimes and turn my brain off and play vidya.

and f me if i'm just delusionally hopeful but it is still a goal, even now, to be able to get to a better place financially. like not just living comfortably, i mean printing money with my skills sort of living

but boy even with that in mind, it can be a real struggle to rp.
- my brain ALWAYS has issues with threads "left hanging" whether they were to me or not
- i can comfortably make AC, this does not mean I can comfortably solve the above problem in any capacity
- Things My Characters Would Probably Do vs My Desire to Actually Do Them

which are things i want to come to terms with! a lot of people have been very chill about dropped threads. major respect for that. it helps with the guilt of that!

(that's probably a big one for me bc I have been in the position of feeling like sisyphus re: trying to thread with someone as the pusher. feeling like i have to put ALL THE EFFORT IN. i have largely quit doing that because it was a huge waste of my energy, but the scars of feeling inadequate are unfortunately very real)

And currently I feel like I'm leaning just fucking cut my losses and limiting my tagbacks. It makes me feel like an ass! I WISH DEARLY I KNEW HOW TO SOLVE THIS PROBLEM without it feeling draining af, bc i am not willing to relinquish business/research time for more rp time.

and i'm super hung up on it bc i feel like, there must be some way I can make it work, and instead of choosing one way or another i'm in very stressful Indecision Land

Communication is biggest key. I'm still working on it but I find just mentioning a thread in a commentary plurk or directly to the person and being like "I need to cut down on stuff on my plate" or something similar helps

asking how they think thread would go

stuff like that

again still a thing I'm working on doing more often but good results so far when I do manage braving it!!!

nods... i did do it the one time and that helped

it's such a good feeling. I'm always like "why can't I do this more often"

why, brain, must you be so.... so this

brains need to get with the times instead of being stuck in stone age mode.

i really do try to like. set certain times to do things except it never works out bc my brain fights me on it hardcore. and then i feel like i'm not enjoying rping AND THAT'S NO GOOD

it'll help you a lot to start remembering, I think, that this is a very ADD-coded thing

schedules are both like. the most helpful and the biggest battle of all for us

f e l t

i feel like i can do schedules better when i'm doing well but as SAD sets in? fuck no

Tsukeru:

yeeeeeah

i miiiight also. go lay down for a bit. bc i've got a bit of tension headache going on and i think the tension kinda leads me to stress more

Yes, try the headpad or ice pack. sometimes one can help more than other

heatpad sounds nice

i

read this as headpet and I was like "well that's something I can give, too!"

Fuddccx

Headpets always desired

I fell asleep with heat pad... Now I have kitty asleep next to me

sleeping definitely helped with mindset, even tho i am still sleepy somewhat

will sleep again more a bit later probably

very good :>

agreed to communication, also trying to keep in mind that whatever was played before... was BEFORE, with other people. We're on a new game now! No need to carry all the baggage from before with us!

it's true!!

ye ye