me realizing just HOW deeply rooted i am in the i have an idea -> oh it's not being treated like a godsend though -> it must not be good and i suck cycle. boy!!!

which is like. good i guess. for me realizing. bad for being in it

me sitting here like what the actual fuck am i gonna do about it though because trying to tough it out always ends poorly for me. . .

this is a Non-Trivial Obstacle and mindset things are very tricky... it is so very very easy to get swept up in feelings and feelings usually have me feeling like a scrub

mostly coz like the feelings usually end up being high levels of anxiety which tend to make me nope out

me over here living The Line maybe i never actually faced my fears at all

okay. we will try baby steps. and also more awareness in general of when my thoughts start spiraling

lately i think i'm having anxiety towards my anxiety which is like

wheezes

skjfhsf nuzzles

and also more awareness of how the physical state of me is affecting my mental/emotional state bc Boy Howdy

what I can meta-anxiety can be a real issue

I've had to deal with that

meta-anxiety is the worst!!