/huggles

I know that I’m going to Have Fun. I know it. But the brain is getting in the way and the social anxiety is ruling everything and the autism is screaming that I Don’t Know What To Do And That Is Bad

It went from “I think they’re gonna put you in the Private Cabin next to me,” to “I’m not sure where they’re going to put you, either in the Cabin or the Cowboy Quarters. Which is a private room with a private bathroom. They definitely won’t put you in the Hotel, which is a private room with a shared bathroom.”

Resulting, of course, in being in the Hotel, with a private room and a shared bathroom and being surrounded by strangers and thus Freaking The Fuck Out when we’re supposed to be taking care of horses and then relaxing and I am instead being useless and having a meltdown and I’m so tired of myself.

I just- Want to Go Home, where everything is Safe and Predictable.

This is definitely something that can wait until you feel up to thinking about it, but do you know if you could ask for an accommodation change?

draconic: probably not. I think everywhere else is already full.

I am calmed down somewhat from the state of pure panic that I was in earlier. I just needed to vent all of the “omg too much at once too overstimmed too overwhelmed I hate everyone” feelings