I think Sterling is done but I'm at that awful point where I don't want to make the call just in case she. like. isn't. yknow

she's had a lot of accidents in the past week, I think she just pissed herself in the cat food cage (it's a baby gate we put around their bowls so pip can't get their food) waiting for more food but there's already some there

she'll sit in there for hours even when there's food for her

Oh friend

This is the hardest call.

she's not grooming herself anymore, I worked on her last night and cut some mats off her tummy

it is

my usual marker is when they stop eating but she's in a weird place with that, seems to want to eat but doesn't like what's there

Maybe try baby food?

it's that thing of like... I know cats aren't people but I imagine she would want to go out with some dignity and some of her mind remaining like we would, right? and not just kind of wither away?

I think she would want to not feel any pain, discomfort, or confusion

I think it's just not fresh enough for her lol, but she'll only eat about a third of the wet food I put in there and then let it sit there while she complains

yeah

She might be "hungry" but also not be comfortable eating, too

thank you mici. my OCD is really tightly wound around Harm To Loved Ones and Sterling has been at the epicenter of that since I was in grad school

so I really just want to do right by her but evil clippy has commentary

Evil clippy can fuck off

'what if I send her off too early' is the whole question. but I think we've passed that point. idk

Listen to Me(ci): releasing a pet when they are in pain, elderly, and they don't have much left is not Harm

It is kindness in the highest form, to be able to make sure they don't feel anymore pain and anymore suffering, even if that suffering is deep confusion and uncertainty

this is objectively true and I know it. thank you for putting it in front of me

Of course. I know that this is hard as fuck, but I also know you're a responsibile person who would never hurt someone you loved and that includes your pets

I've known her since I was seventeen, she's been with me over half my life

she's my best girl

face in hands this cat is So Fucking Old

geriatric cats man

I never want to be the guy that's holding up my million year old creature held together with staples and scotch tape like 'I think she's got a few more years in her!!' but Sterling has until this point truly Had More Years In Her

she hit 21 and was like 'ok'

I've only really seen the decline in these past few months

but I will listen to her

I'm so sorry cami. she's a wonderful cat, and you've always given her the very best life. it's not fair that part of that is having to help it conclude, but it sounds like a real kindness for her to be able to go loved, and with her favourite person, who she feels safe around

cats should live as long as we do, though I guess the thing I always tell other people who are going through this is that htey don't so we can meet and love more

which I stand by but it sucks lmao

I agree, this is the hardest decision but it won't be harming her. it's helping her go peacefully with her family around her

agreeing with all the above about this being a kindness. this is the hardest decision a pet caretaker will ever have to make, and you can know the whole time that you'll have to do it eventually and still not be ready. it sucks so much, and i'm sorry you're at that point now

To echo: I'm so sorry, this is always such a tough call. But it's so clear you want to do right by her, and you'll make the best decision you can.

thank u friends

Chris and I are going to discuss it tonight but I think I'm going to try and do an at-home thing. now I just need to determine how to handle Callen with this

I'm not sure I want him to be there because he won't understand what's happening

he loves Sterling and treats her like a celebrity but I at least am not sure he will immediately notice if she's not around, which may be better

ah man cami i’m sorry
21 years is a fucking incredible run even tho i know that still probably doesn’t feel like long enough. you’re doing right by her still <3

Agree with all the above, and these truly are the hardest decisions - when it's a slow, progressive process. I agree with death with dignity for them, and that we are so fortunate to provide them with it as our final act of love for them

thank you. and mini I was hoping you'd weigh in

I've got her sitting upstairs with me (finally, had to coax her) rn and I'm more sure than ever. she just doesn't look like she feels well

but still rumbling at me. sterling purrling

aw sterling ): i'm sorry cami. your love and care for her is so evident in this plurk

made an appointment for tomorrow afternoon. she just looks so tired and unhappy

Cami; the stuff in the paw print preservation kits is just crayola model magic clay, if you want that.

It’s so hard but you’re doing good.

ahh ty kate, I'm getting a paw print thing + fur clippings for free with the cremation

so I'm cool with letting them do it

Helping Children Understand Pet Loss This might help

Maybe this sounds corny but it takes courage and commitment to see sterlings condition, understand the situation and make this decision knowing that it will hurt, because you are acting entirely out of love and compassion for her as an individual

thank you

I have given her a full can of tuna

it's wonderful that you've been able to share so much of your life with a little friend like her

it really is hard. Ive had to make this call a couple of times and fwiw i dont regret it. I love you and sending love. and re callen i think your instincts are right but also if he asks where she is be honest with him

we will

as time goes on I'm more and more sure this was the right thing. she wasn't even purring much when we'd pick her up last night, though I'm happy she did spend the night in bed between Chris & me where she belongs

she's not eating anything this morning. this is as clear a signal as I'm going to get

we explained to Callen as best we could this morning. I asked him to say bye-bye and told him she's leaving us today and we won't see her again, but I don't think he understood. we're going to have to kind of eat this one I think

but I tried to make it clear that it's not about going to sleep or just like briefly leaving the house

she was very affectionate with him this morning while he was crawling around pretending to be a cat. every time he came close to her she'd headbutt him

I'm so glad she has been his first exposure to cats, and is the reason he loves them. I hope he remembers her

cami i'm so sorry

my sister had to unexpectedly get her dog put to sleep when my niece was only 2 and she (my niece) still talks about daisy and brings up her death sometimes. so like. even if he doesn't comprehend it he'll be processing it as he gets older and more able to understand

aw man. yeah, definitely

he IS almost three

he just doesn't have many words yet so it's hard to measure what he does and doesn't understand sometimes

yeah, i would guess that he understands a lot more than he can communicate. you're doing a great job

thanks buddy

we are doing the best we can lol

president princess picspam

the first one is the earliest I have of her, circa 2005

my dad's ex-wife took pix of her as a kitten but has since deleted her account so I don't have access to them

and then from this morning

more from chris

omgggg these pix of her w/ wee cami and callen :”””) she has been so so loved

youve had her for so long!! i can tell that one is 2005 simply by the shape of your glasses lol

im so glad youve had so much time with her and gave her such a good life

the uh. person is late.

and if they take much longer we will have to cancel this appointment because we go get Callen in less than an hour

aw geez

they did call ahead to say they were running behind but god please don’t make me postpone this

Ok they’re here

thinking of you three.

godspeed

it's done. I held her the whole time

I'm really glad that you got that

And that she was at home and not stressed and scared

She loved you, Cami

she passed safe and loved and in no pain, and that's the best gift you can give anyone at the end

you gave her peace and love and kindness straight to the end

thanks guys

it was peaceful. I'm glad she was able to go this way.

all my dad's other cats... did not. it was the least I could give her

you did right by her! im so sorry my friend

you were the best friend she could ask for

looks like you gave her all the good parts of the world. you did right by her

i'm so sorry cami, sending all of my love to you and yours xx