and I don't want to yell at people

or make the people who do talk to me feel ignored

but I feel so

fucking

isolated

I've been at TLV for six years! I feel like I should feel more secure about things

but it feels like every even that happens, everyone else is merrily plotting away and I'm left in the dust, planning reactively during the event

which works better sometimes than others

and people just don't comment on my plurks a lot and I just feel like why? what do other people have that I don't?

I like TLV, I like my CR and the in character interactions that my characters have

I just constantly feel like I have to fight and claw for any attention and it sucks

like, if I do have an idea and I can reach out to someone about it, it goes well!

but if I don't have ideas, people don't often reach out to me and it just feels lopsided and awkward

im sorry friend 8C when I get back into the swing i want to get some Hanna stuff going with Cheradenine I know this doesnt help now but I do like playing with you!

<3 it's good to have things to look forward to!

and I like playing with you a lot!

I like playing with a lot of people at TLV a lot, it's a great game to play in, it's just kind of lonely sometimes

yeah. I feel that in waves sometimes.

it's definitely a cyclical thing, IDK why/how

Yeah, it can definitely feel lonely sometimes. I look forward to playing with you, though. I really like our CR

I do, too! <3

This time of year does a terrible thing to amazing writers

In my particular case it gives me the triple whammy of heightened ADHD symptoms, chronic badbrain/terrible assumptions, and very low/whimsical motivation

I know explaining that changes nothing about the core of the problem and it doesn't account for everyone or even match others

But you are a delight and I'm always happy seeing you in my inbox/on my timeline

<3 you're a delight too!

it's hitting me, too, and the time change in... two weeks? will knock me out more, I know

the cold and dark really sap people's energy

gooood time change is always SO rough...