I'm a reality warper, but only 1% of the time, and I don't get to pick when it fires

Examples: after Ozzy died, and my boss was wondering if we should breaking news it, I joked "I vote yes, as long as we DON'T do it when Hulk Hogan dies"

well guess what happened a couple days later

me the other day: somehow, while trying to explain RaptureTok nonsense to my dad, I brought up Snapewives somehow because I guess I was trying to explain mass psychosis

the video that I found the NEXT DAY:

and the newest one

Just last night while I was playing Overwatch with Sora, I was complaining about needing to find new games because, and this was a direct quote, "Animal Crossing isn't fun anymore"

AND GODDAMN IF I WASN'T JUST TOLD THEY'RE UPDATING THAT FUCKING GAME

it's never anything I actually really WANT to happen, but god damn i am speaking so much shit into being at random lately

so if i start doing nothing but talking about being given gobs of money from a mysterious benefactor, i'm just trying to make the fucking thing work lol

your fucking prediction skills are so god damn funny

like that day i woke up like "something's fucky" and the goddamn queen died

you never want your predictions to end up at "Sans Undertale killed the queen" levels of fuck