I think it's probably partly that my period started yesterday evening, so it's my first full day of it and I do sometimes get unpleasant hormonal swings that go along with that.

But partly my dad's friend is dying of pancreatic cancer, which is a horrible horrible way to die, and he's a good person who has worked hard all his life to be of service to others -

And Dick Cheney died, but he died at 84, safe and warm and as comfortable as dying can be, in control of his treatment, in control of who was there and who wasn't.

Lots of other people died this week, many of them in terrible pain, alone or with loved ones they couldn't save, a lot of them undeniably because of policies Cheney fought for and implemented and made money off of

God I hated that man. I still hate him. I can't help but hate him.

He died and people are celebrating, which I don't in any way blame them for it, it just feels so empty to me. He died. Dying isn't a punishment, it's just part of being an animal.

We are all animals and we all die, and dying the way he did was an easy warm good death. He could get written up in a Victorian manual on the Good Death the fucker.

He'll never be brought to account now.

He'll never have to sit there and listen to the witness accounts, and the victim impact statements. He'll never have his travel curtailed, never have to make restitution for any of the wealth he stole and murdered and swindled his way into.

He didn't even have to say sorry to the supposed friend he personally shot in the personal face! He forced that man to apologize to him!

It's not fair it's not fair it's not fair

babies died and grandparents died and people in their prime died

US soldiers treated Iraqi cities like a gun filled playground

he funded and profited from mercenaries who murdered helpless prisoners

he locked people up in conditions that were torture in themselves and then put more torture on top on and on and endless

twenty years of a life, just gone like that, in suffering and struggle in a prison without ever any real charge

Empire is so evil, and an evil pathetic creeping scumbag of a man is dead, but the empire lives

Obama escalated the drone warfare program to heights and extrajudicially executed (murdered) (but murdered in a way that is particularly repulsive because he used the fact that he murdered the dead to claim they had to be murdered because they were a threat or they wouldn't have been murdered, therefore the murder was necessary.)

(Don't you see? If they'd ever bothered to give the dead a trial, they'd have been sentenced to execution for being the brother of a cousin of a co-worker of someone who maybe was involved with a group that supposedly planned to take some kind of violent action against US soldiers, somewhere.)

(Those children shouldn't have gone to a wedding, with people like that.)

God. Sorry. I work really hard at being cheerful, and trying to focus on what we can do, and where the world is good or hopeful -

But I hated that man. I hated him when I was really just a kid, and I came to school, and my classmates wanted to nuclear bomb Afghanistan "into glass".

I don't believe in hell, and I wouldn't want to anyway, because I firmly believe that absolutely no one deserves eternal torment, but I would think it was just if it took him thousands and thousands of years to listen to and make restitution to each and every one of the people he hurt.

If he had to be a grasshopper to learn better, that would be fair.

I don't really believe the universe is fair

he died, and he's safe now, and it's not enough for me, I hated him so much

And I just feel really crummy and down today and like crying. Well, I am crying, currently.

it's odd how when people say "oh, I don't wish death on anybody" what they actually mean is "I don't wish punishment on anybody" as if death is something any of us can avoid

but we DO all wish punishment on other people all the time, actually, and death is...not that

Yeah. I know that what I want (and I suspect what people want a lot of the time) is remorse.

And a lot of the time you're never going to get remorse.

But I guess, as I'm thinking of it, restitution doesn't have to come from the people who did the terrible things. As citizens of the US imperial state we can all find ways to work for restitution. We aren't helpless, even if the option of holding Cheney accountable is gone.

brightbuttoneyes: nan. Full restitution made by Jesus on the cross for every sin. Get saved in Jesus now and get peace nan. The Holy Spirit within you will comfort you.

I hope that you feel better.

TrumpGoldenEraAmerica lmao fucking fashspam in here telling NAN she needs to trust in Jesus? Get fucked. You don't know shit about my friend or her faith OR the faith you're hypocritically regurgitating on the internet in the service of monsters. YOU get saved in Jesus, if you even have a soul left.

hugs nan forever

it's all awful and I hate it and you have every right to cry and feel miserable.

Is...is that some kind of weird MAGA plurk bot? O.o

Either way, you're right and your feelings on all of this are legitimate. /hugs/

transilience: huuuuuuugs Thank you. Thanks for your defense of me! I don't know if that's boilerplate or someone actually came up with that, but I definitely don't need to listen to someone who thinks of Jesus as a magic penny or a get out of restitution free card.

spazztichero: I think so! They've been around lately: I knew I should have locked this, but I forgot until I'd vented all my feelings. Thank you. hugs

it's gotta be a bot, but still, big ick

blocked now! Yeah, big ick