what did you do momther....

I am apparently not providing her with 24/7 pettings on her exact terms

and of course, she expects you to read her mind as well

and just know this

/pats your shoulder

Her preferred terms also involve me hanging precariously off my bed while she sits just at the edge of my reach, because if my feet make even a hint that they might touch the floor, that is Unacceptable.

Any possibility that I might depart from the Required Position that removes any chance that she might be (horror of horrors) picked up is also Unacceptable.

how dare you

Oh no how could you