what do you do for someone who can't get their life started? Someone who can't make those hard choices?

Smack them. Hard.

I know! I gave him a verbal smacking last night. I hoping he can just make a plan in the next few days.

I agree with Star. Slap them.

i mean, everyone has grow up at some point but I'm not excited about playing his mommy.

I hate to say it but maybe getting a mature bf would help. Don't hurt me!

I should rephrase mature with independant.

how do you motavate someone to get excited about getting a real life. good credit. career. home. maybe get married one day....

haha aguamyst Don't worry, I won't hurt you

I know... I wish I wasn't already head over heels for this guy...

You can't. They should want all that for themselves.

or i could just find someone who is more mature, job, car, home... all that.

you're right Star. I'm just hoping he honestly does...

i told him though, we can't survive unless youre successful and happy.

i just hate this waiting game... to see what he does next. Someone is dictating my future and i don't like it.

i almost wish i was A-sexual. No need for a partner. I could be happy all by myself.

"women marry men expecting them to change; men marry women expecting them never to change"

hence why no marriage.

if you stick with him, expect to be his mommy - sorry

I'm not marrying anyone who I have to support.

You can't let him bring you down. If you want bigger & better and he's fine being stagnant then it's time to get out.

thanks boomer. ray of sunshine you are.

I think you should set a time limit for youself because you should never let anyone dictate you future goals.

what is a reasonable deadline to get a life?

it's hard to let go but sometimes it's for the best.

LOL

just saying what someone should have said to my wife many years ago (the lovely and talented strdncr5)

so boomer... you are admitting to being her child?

you have to decide how long you can take his attitude. Think about it because it's not an easy decision.

yep - she could have done better light years better but go figure - i ain't complaining

i would just be happy if he could pay his half of the rent...

I have set a kind of deadline though.,.. when i get the house he needs to find somewhere else to live or pay his half

i just gotta find a house first

Where are you looking? Texas?

and THAT is a whole other oprah...

Give him 6 months max to get his shite together.

i think thats probably a good amount of time.

6 months is good. Tell him about it? I would, that way if he is willing to change, he will. Otherwise its only 6 months

true. thanks guys.

it just kills me cause he wasn't always like this. he had a great job and was happy... but he was let go and now... yeah.

i just gotta be patient