It's very important.

Alois is fat.

PLEASE DO NOT SAY YOU HAVE GIVEN UP YOUR SECRET SPECIAL SAUCE ALREADY, OTHER BOCCHA- oh.

Well. Yeah.

common knowledge

This would be why everyone goes after Bocchan.

he doesn't clog your arteries

Are you kidding me? The boy's made out of beanstalks.

I feel like force-feeding him whenever I see him.

Hell, I feel like force-feeding myself.

Yeah, well.

His soul is fat.

And he's stupid.

indeed

no seriously listen

sit the fuck down for a second

while i spin this shit

fffffffffffffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucccccccccccckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

yyyyyyyyyyyyyouuuuuuuuuuuuuu

PLEASE DO NOT SPIN SHIT WHERE THERE ARE BOCCHANS STILL PRESENT....

THAT IS MOST UNSANITARY

Hey, Alois.

Wanna duel again?

you won on a technicality

I don't know. Somehow I don't think "stopping a blade with my bare hand and stabbing you in the gut while pinned down" is a technicality.

when blood is first drawn the duel is over so you forfeited basically yeah

so you won by cheating

i looked this shit up

... you're accusing me of cheating?

yes

You?

Excuse me. Who cheated before it even started?

uhm . you ? remember when you wanted to try to ream my ass before we even finished counting ?

.... (hold on)

yeah you were like oh ill totally stab alois trancy in the back and then DENIED i knew what you were doing you cheater

/convoluted chess metaphor about how it's not cheating irl because other people will break the rules too

/also you were totally going to do the same shit

. . .

. . .

that metaphor was awful and youre awful and you should feel bad

lets go motherfucker

LIGHTNING CHESS

ill see you on yahoo fucking games

Good luck.

Not that it'll do you any good.

i am a fucking god at lightning chess

i will crush you under my heel

Sorry, can't hear your bullshit over the sound of how fat you are.

I DONT BELIEVE YOU ANYMORE

. . .

it really that fat

Alois, do you want to know the truth?

About your soul and its... size.

Some demons are into that kind of thing, Alois.

Don't feel bad.

i do ronald i dont think youll lie to me . . .

It is not fat.

That is the truth.

it cant be that fat i mean i watch my diet

All right. Here's the truth.

Isn't your favorite food "greasy fish and chips"?

It isn't that your soul is fat, per say. But it has a lot of excess baggage. If you would *lighten up* and have more fun and worry

about less things, you'd feel better right away.

You have to learn to live a little. Reclaim that childhood you never had, you know?

Excess baggage.

That's the only thing that will help.

first of all i eat everything in moderation and i get plenty of exercise so its okay if i eat fish and chips

second of all

ronald you better not have fucking looked at my fucking cinematic record while i was sleeping in the office

... Sometimes, I get bored.

I am not responsible for my actions after that happens.

popcorn.gif

have you seriously

i feel

so violated atm

. . .

ok demon aside

if you had to judge me where would you send me

It isn't about Heaven or Hell initially, Alois.

It's about whether or not you deserve to continue on in this life-- if you've done too little or too much to go to the next plane.

What do you think I'd do?

He's saying you'd go to hell.

shut up oh my fucking mother of mercy i will rip your jaw off of your face and wear it as a crown

anyway ronald

i dont even know because i didnt live very long and spent most of the time doing shit for other people

Huh.

wait so its like

life or die y / n

then

heaven / hell ?

Die -> Hell.

shouldnt you be practicing so you dont get totally destroyed when we play chess

Or purgatory.

can you escape purgatory or is that just some literary bullshit