Since this has been a topic lately, what with Wear Purple and It Gets Better, among other things.

I can vouch for the accuracy of most of it.

Not sure I want to read it...

It's not written from an emotional perspective, if that helps. It's just analysis.

It's the self-loathing and anxiety that does it for me.

And just.... being worn down, already. I'm not even 25 and I've experienced abuse, a developmental disorder, severe anxiety,

a nervous breakdown, and a complete failure at everything I tried to do. So I didn't go from having it all to having nothing.

I'm just sick of having nothing. >.>

But the other criteria are there. You feel like a failure. You're comparing yourself to an ideal, or how you imagine you should be right now

So the step to take would be to realize you're being much too hard on yourself! You're a worthwhile and wonderful, creative person *now*.

Yeah, in college, I compared myself to my peers. I couldn't make sense of how easily things came to them for doing less work than I did.

But.... there are a *lot* of privileged people in college, and I don't wish I were one. Just that my work would eventually pay off.

Yup. I know that feeling. But you do have talents, you know. And other people think *you* make the things you're best at look easy.

Problem is, I don't actually have enough skill to be useful. And I really really want to be useful, in some capacity.

I don't see how you're *not* useful.

I mean, even with the little I know of you, you seem pretty darn useful. Do you mean you don't have value unless you're working as a doctor

in a third world country?

Yeah, I dunno. In real life, I tend to keep learning that other people view me as useless. And they never tell me why, so I can't fix it.

Don't listen to them!

I didn't used to. It got hard not to, after "hearing" it for years, with my self-esteem getting lower every time.

I also feel like no one ever takes me seriously. I feel like I don't matter. Like a nonentity.

I feel like that too. I think most people do.

I guess I'm not as good at pretending.

Pretending?

Yeah, most people must be pretending to be happy and well-adjusted. :\

In my early to mid 20s, I was miserable with depression and even planned my suicide. I was secretly saving to rent a hotel room in which

to slit my wrists. No one in my family knew about it, but my sister was miserable living with me and told my family that I needed help.

My grandma and aunt came to visit and took me to a counselor. That probably saved my life.

I wish I had someone to save my life.

(not trying to sound like an emo - I just know I'd get away with it because people don't take me seriously)

I did fairly well until my 40th birthday. Unmarried, childless, living with my parents... I felt like a total failure. As if I'd had a set

However, I am not planning to die. I am, in fact, very afraid of dying.

goals to meet before that age that I had failed to accomplish.

I'm better now because I am on meds again, but I still feel like a failure at life.

I know we're just bits in the aether, but you have friends here. And I'm pretty sure you have people nearby who love you.

I feel like I am having what I started calling a quarterlife crisis. And I feel guilty for that too.

Genie - that's that comparing yourself to an ideal that the article mentions.

For some reason, I feel like I should have accomplished all these things..... To be jobless at 25 seems completely unacceptable to me.

(jobless as in not working at a full time job relevant to my area of study)

I'm in the same boat as Genie. I need to keep telling myself that as long as I keep trying, I'm not a failure.

I feel like a failure too. I've accomplished nothing of substance. I expected to have a doctorate and be a world traveller by now.

We're all our own worst critics. Nobody is as hard on us as ourselves.

You gave birth! You found someone to marry you! That's awesome.

And in some societies that would be enough. (I won't go into the issues of how I had kids or married.)

mynmemos: I agree with Genie Myn being a mother and wife is a big achievement. I know we are assured that there is much more, there is...

but I often fear that in my pursuit of a career I've dreamed of. I'll loose my chance to marry, and more likely to have children...

It's hard to balance all we can be. I think we are given an ideal by society, which is really impractical. Nobody feels comfortable...

But I really hate it when people (women especially) de-value their lives because they haven't procreated.

acknowledging it though, as that is failing at it. But not really because it's impractical. I hope that makes sense.

What happened to me was a *tragedy* and wasn't my choice. Yes, I've made good out of it, but Genie is placing more intrinsic value on

my life rather than hers because of it.

I feel weird about not being married yet, despite having been in this relationship for over 8 years.

I do think it's a bad idea to not value one's life due to not having had children or gotten married. There are so many ways in which one...

can have a full life helping people and being helped. There is a lot to live for. Life does have a certain amount of pain...

really sad that she won't get to be a grandma.

but it's wonderful to be alive. When I think about that fact that I nearly died, that I shouldn't be here, not in as good a shape as I...

There are still ways for you to be a grandma!

am I'm so so so happy to be here. I'm so glad I got a chance, and it might suck sometimes, but it'll pass, and it could be a lot worse...

I love you guys hang in there.

for all.

I have an impressionable niece and nephew now, so I would never kill myself. I would hate to set an example to them that it is an option.

Good.

I'm 25 and don't have a career yet. Big whoop. So long as you're doing the best you can I don't see anything wrong with what you're doing.

It's a perception thing Max. When I was younger, I was constantly being told by family how ugly, stupid and talentless I was.

I was constantly depressed and attempted suicide a few times by jumping off the roof and slitting my wrists (though I slit the wrong way)

I was then told how selfish I was for trying to die and sent to a pastor to "cast the demons out of me"

Do I get depressed now? To a degree but no where near what I was as a teen

I'd like to think I was depressed because of a chemical imbalance, but I know it's probably because I was sensitive and impressionable

It's OK hon.

I hate feeling ephemeral.

saraddictive: Oh Sara I'm sorry to hear that. I'm glad things are better now.

When I got out of that living situation, things drastically improved. I promise to never do that to my baby. Ever.

saraddictive:

You'll be a good mom, Sara.

I can only hope

hugs on Corgi!