heading over to visit Mari. He cant remember it well but he is pretty certain he did something awful to someone.

sorts through the jewelry and finds some that she can give away. Perhaps to Ann..?

gets to her door and knocks. He hopes that it wasnt her that he hurt.

hears the knock and quickly moves to the door. She opens the door and is surprised to find Russia there. "Bonjour, Russie! What brings you_

here?"

gave her a smile, although the pain in his eyes was obvious. "Mari...I think I did something bad..."

(woah! this plurk turned blue for a second. o.o )

(Blue? o.o)

sees the pain in his eyes and quickly ushers him in. "What happened, cher?"

(da...it happened suddenly but then righted itself. like a dark ocean blue color. screed me)

backs away from her. What if he hurt her too? He was better being safe than sorry....very sorry. "I..I think that it is best that you stay

b-back,da?" Ivan smiled, although it was more nervous than his normal one.

frowns, didn't he usually like hugs? "What happened? Did someone hurt you??"

shook his head, eyes darkening with an inward pain although the smile was still there. "Nyet....I was not the one hurt..."

very worried for him now. "Tell me what happened, cher. I haven't heard any news from anyone.."

reaches a hand up to scratch his cheek. "I...I have been having relapses lately...I'm not sure if your Anya used to have...mental trouble...

and was a bit unprediictably violent. But I was...very much so. And lately I have been relapsing back to my former self....It...it scares me

....and I have hurt so many....I am pretty certain I nearly killed your Denmark recently and...I cannot remember what I did...but I know

something bad happened to Astrid because of me...Mari..I am a monster,da?"

finised speaking and turned his head, trying to hide the tears he wanted to shed although he was still keeping his mask of a smile on. After

so long he felt like the smile was almost painted on.

widens her eyes, she didn't know that so much had happened. She moves over to him and wraps him in a hug. She could clearly see he was in_

pain from what he had done, and he didn't seem to be able to control it, so she wasn't afraid of him. "Non, non, it must be some sort of_

mental illness... Surely we can find a cure for you, cher."

shook his head, wrapping arms around her to return the hug. "Nyet...I have always been...different...it would be better if I was not around

everyone...specially Alfred. He would hate me if he knew all the things I have done....or the things I could do,da?" he replied, whole body

trembling as he held her. He was so frightened. Even she felt so fragile, he knew he could break her like a twig if he wanted to.

strokes his back soothingly and replies softly, "You don't do these things consciously, oui? If Alfred loves you, surely he'll help you..._

None of our hands are free from bloodshed anyway," her lips turn down in a grimace at the memories of bloody wars.

leaned his head down to rest on her shoulder, having to curl his body around her a bit to do it. "I know...but you all do not act like I do

....you are not feared or hated...like I am. I am different from everyone,da?"

guesses that the Nations in his world seem to avoid him. "...I think everyone has the wrong impression of you, oui?"

smiles humorlessly. "Or maybe the right one..."

shakes her head, "Non, they're just misunderstanding you. We should talk to them, maybe explain it to the people you think you've hurt?"

shook his head. "I have talked to them...and bandaged them actually...but..I seem to be getting more and more dangerous...what if..I kill

someone?"

hesitates, she doesn't know how to help him. "..maybe you could stay at home, if you think so..."

closed his eyes and hugged Mari. "Da...I think I know what I should do....at least until I am better and nyet longer dangerous,da?"

hugs back, feeling sad that she couldn't help him more. "Oui... I'll come over to visit you?"

pushes her away gently and shakes his head. "Nyet...it is better if you stay away...I do not think I could forgive myself if I hurt you...or

anyone else. I will be going now,da?" Ivan smiled and bowed at her before turning to leave.

bites her lip and wonders whether she should stop him. It didn't seem good to leave him by himself...

leaves and heads back home. It was times like this that he wished he had been a normal human. Or at least he didnt have to be the embodiment

(end?)

Russia. Ivan sighed. THe part of him that wanted everyone to become one with Russia just wanted the fighting and things to stop. He hoped he

could avoid everyoine for a while so he wouldnt HURT them.

(da.im making a new plurk of what Ivan is going to do...im amazed im still alive. amerika came over and gave me a cuncussion. i am now

asleep on the floor, probably dying or something. xD)

(HOLY CRUD WHAT? xD that became a link? really?)

(PFFT OH MY XD)

9xDD)