but my names not Mike and I sold you no such laptop

I was telling you about him.

ohhh... thought you entered the wrong number. I got lost in the 2nd person singular x.x

Hypothetical address, forwarded to a third party for comedic effect.

lies!.. Sounds like a pretty solid day. I sat around and ate oreos while a 4 year old played peek-a-boo and shot me with my own nerf guns

trade?

You would have had to sit through a graduation and get covered in the stench of high schoolers.