Marry them?

That won't work, she's already married & he's gay. laughs

Thinking dungeons, chains, cuffs.

Hide his passport/visa!

Find him a dude.

masonry nails should work.

good supply of tea and jaffa cakes and I'd pretty much stay anywhere! LOL

Oh, he's absolutely willing to stay, we just haven't found a way legally :/

and I need his help badly right now