She and I want nothing to do with anal. Fantasy and porn is whatever but we both fully recognize reality and it's limits.

I usually make jokes about "going there" and tonight, when I put a pot in the wrong place, I casually stood behind her...

and reached down saying "then let me make it up to you, with your anus." to which she replied ....

"God I would punch you in the dick if you ever tried!"

And for some reason that lead to incredible amounts of laughter, a tear, and a little bit of pantomime for added hilarity.

Isn't he romantic?