I'm not undertaking the biggest endeavor of my life.

Now*

It involves a lot of money and possibly a sizable return that will determine the rest of my life

And possibly angelica's as well.

A lot of legalities and management of contracts and workers.

Applying for a business grant now.

So much excitement met by so much anxiety.

That fear of failure is so amazingly intimate now it's exhilarating.

I'm afraid. And haven't been like this for a long time.

Even with my clear objective and direction.

I still feel lost.

I'm so ready to succeed that I'm just that much more afraid of failing if that makes sense.

I will stop talking now before I enter into a cyclic pattern of blah blah blah's and redundacy.