No

well, my mom has emphysema from smoking for 50 years and she refuses to quit... I think I actually blame her a bit for that.

I would blame myself in that case too.

Agree with Pho. It depends on whether the illness is self-inflicted.

my mother died from pancreatic cancer after spending her entire life smoking and smoking is one of the causes...but I couldn't blame her

granted, I was pretty much devastated...but what about mental illnesses?

DeMerick: Addiction is a mental illness and the tabacco companies make sure you are addicted

FINNIE00: So, is it okay to blame someone for pancreatic cancer or lung cancer when addiction is an illness in itself?

DeMerick: No, it is never okay to judge someone like that in my opinion regardless of how the illness happened or what it is.

It is better for both parties to just be compasionate

or all parties. People are so quick to be judgmental without realizing how easily something could happen to them.

DeMerick: yes

I don't mean to imply that I would lack compassion for a person who inflicted themselves, you asked if I would blame them and yes I would.

Blame implies cause and effect and in my mind has nothing to do with compassion.

I would never look at a suffering person and say, "Well, you brought it on yourself." even though in my mind I know that they did.

Yeah, there's a difference between blaming and not having any compassion. I still have a LOT of compassion for my mom, but I blame her for

ignorning her symptoms for so long. She still does.

I smoked for 17 years (quit over 10 years ago) and if I end up with lung cancer later in life I'll probably blame myself.

she pretends it's a cold... and it will eventually kill her.

PhotosNikolaidis: Is your mother still smoking and has she made attempts to quit? Quitting was a bit easier for me because I did it after

surgery and had heavy pain meds to keep my mind off the withdrawals, but the quitting is evil. But I'd be more irritated if my mother

continued smoking after diagnosis. Also, I do blame alcoholics who kill innocent people while driving drunk and alcoholism is a disease.

she never made any attempts to quit, and she keeps getting worse. She's ignoring the symptoms.

and I recently quit myself, so I know it's hard as fuck... but she doesn't have to quit nicotine, just smoking.

yeah...I don't blame you for being irritated with her then. She may be able to lie to herself, but it's hurting you, too. Possibly more

because you aren't lying to yourself about it.

yes

Freq: That makes a lot of sense and helps clarify when it's okay to blame, but what if a symptom of a disorder is to go against doctor's

orders, like with schizophrenia and the paranoia associated with that?