omfg I AM NOT READY

I AM NOT READY

I'M NOT

I woke up at noon today, felt TERRIBLE

CRAWLED OUT OF BED AT 2PM omfg

wasn't fully awake and functioning until 4PM

THE APPOINTMENT IS 2.5 HOURS LONG

I don't even have just one academic advising department, I have TWO

damn it physics you should be housed in the school of engineering, NOW I HAVE TO TALK TO BOTH OF YOU

IT'S AT 8:30AM omfg what am I

I need to make a good first impression to my academic advising departments for 2.5 hours or else I AM NOT GETTING THE CLASSES I WANT

FOR TWO WHOLE SEMESTERS

I was mildly hopeful they would mail me their my course catalog so I wouldn't have to print my own/strain my eyes in the PDF version

but APPARENTLY I don't get a physical copy until this meeting

but I LOOKED AT THE WEBPAGES FOR MY ACADEMIC ADVISING DEPARTMENTS and they sound REALLY PRESSED about students who don't know what to do

so now I'm just in FULL BLOWN PANIC about the possibility that I'm going to look frazzled and unprepared and REALLY REALLY UNORGANIZED

that is the LAST THING I want my advisers to think of me

to date, I have never actually had a nightmare about my academics

the nightmares are always about MAKING MYSELF LOOK TERRIBLE IN FRONT OF PEOPLE

I've been having a recurring nightmare about this transfer orientation SINCE I SCHEDULED MY STUPID APPOINTMENT OMFG

and apparently they don't have my AP test scores yet because COLLEGE BOARD has not sent them in yet

fhlkasjdf I'M SURE IT WILL BE OKAY CAL

CRY I JUST DON'T WANT TO LOOK TERRIBLE IN FRONT OF not just one, but TWO academic advising departments omfg

I THINK I CAN I THINK I CAN DO THIS I THINK I CAN DO THIS AND NOT MESS UP omfg I'm going to die

would just forgoing sleep tonight and loading up on coffee be a terrible idea

because there is no way I'm going to be able to adjust my sleep schedule in ...15 hours about

I need to LOOK and SPEAK and have OPEN+ALERT BODY LANGUAGE and seem

alert and engaging and "mature" whatever the f that means and READY TO TAKE ON THIS COURSE LOAD

fhlksdjfsd

here's the thing though, I can DO ALL OF THIS

but it doesn't come naturally to me

I have to ACTIVELY THINK ABOUT WHAT I'M DOING THE ENTIRE TIME

THAT IS ACTUALLY MORE IMPRESSIVE THAN BEING A NATURAL TBH LOL

as in basically my mind splinters and part of it is tracking what I'm saying, what the person is saying, what my body language says, what

THE PERSON'S BODY LANGUAGE IS TELLING ME ABOUT WHAT THEY THINK ABOUT HOW STUPID I AM AS A HUMAN BEING

and AM I HOLDING MYSELF UPRIGHT am I presentable is my information neatly done I ONLY HAVE 15 MINUTES to look like I KNOW

THE COURSE CATALOG EVEN THOUGH I HAVEN'T STARTED IT UNTIL RIGHT NOW AND I'M LOSING TIME BECAUSE I AM PANICKING AND OMGGGGGGGGG

okay tentative plan is I'm just going to really exhaust myself today, crash for the night to get enough sleep, DRINK DISGUSTING AMOUNTS OF

COFFEE, have two hours to prepare myself, be *~AN AMAZING STUDENT~* for all of 2.5 hours

and then crawl back to bed to DIE as soon as the appointment is over

FAREWELL, LIFE, IT WAS NICE KNOWING YOU

brb screaming at the course catalog wtf are you even

okay replies done YAY CATALOG no this is going to be fun!!!!11

yes it is OKAY IT WILL BE asdfpofdkjsfd;lk