how do you do a Plurk Paste? I want to post it all together.

The Golden Iris

Just kidding I figured it out. Feel free to offer any advice for work shopping. Especially with the grammar.

this is a great draft. You can do more with the lining, IMHO, to make the each line itself more interesting.

, for example:
She has learned to rise / above
her shadow. Later, in the cold / blue hush, night falls/ upon the earth;
she does not.

also, the ending is wordy with what the speaker thinks. I love the idea, just compress the language.

it's going to be an awesome poem.

Thanks you for the advice!!

I'll post the revised draft as soon as its done.

would love to see it.