No matter how much you want to be his friend still, and how much you still love him and his family, it end up just causing you to want to

cry multiple times throughout the experience. And it's really triggering. To the point where even music doesn't work. (That means it's

fucking bad)
Sincerely,
Self

(hugs you tightly)

(hugs tight) im sorry hun.

I still feel like I'm going to cry.

(hugs tight)

(clings to everyone) My head hurts, my stomach hurts, my scars hurt, and my heart hurts.

I know it hurts hun and I'm so sorry you have to go through this (hugs tight)

And something happened and it only further confused me.

(hugs tight)

He said he didn't mean to, he was just really really tired (it was like in the middle of the night) and just--... it made me

miss having him. (rubs at eyes angrily) I don't like feeling like this. I feel worthless.

You are not worthless. dont ever think that

I know I'm not. That doesn't stop me from feeling it though. I can't control what I feel.

I understand. I'm sorry you're going through this. I know how it is and it isn't fun

(curls up with everyone choking back tears) I want goldfish, gdi.

(pushes flavor blasted goldfish to you) here you go <3

You know me so well.

(hugs) love you Lauren. And I know you love flavor blasted gold fish : )

I wish I really hand some. Ma.

*Man.

I need out of here... I need something to distract me. God I wanna go to a Bluegrass fest and see Otter...

(sigh)

Yeah. They're the best comfort food ever

Mostly I just need a distraction though. Cause the desire to cut is very high.

Can you call him on Skype and talk to him?

He's not logged on. He replied to y email/text a little while ago, but hasn't since.

(nods) Mmk. I'm sure he'll be on later to talk. Just hang with us for a bit then

I decided to read. xD I'll probably go back to that. (ods)

*nods

Haha okay. Reading is also good. <3

hugssssss