GP gives prescription for taking double the dosage of my current medications -> go off meds completely

at least on the plus side, i haven't really noticed... any side effects at all...

but they weren't making a difference anyway so maybe that's why '-'

honey

they weren't!

meds are expensive

i'd been on them for a solid three months

i don't see the point in paying for something that isn't making a difference

maybe you should keep a mood diary or something, because i think you've definitely been more social/rational/personable this past 8 weeks

really 8\? i don't feel that way.

and i think the last time you came slowly off your meds it was a pretty obvious difference to your moods and quality of life

i mean medication isn't like a pain pill, it doesn't just cancel the depression/anxiety out completely, that's what therapy's for

well i'm going cold turkey this time and i haven't even noticed the slightest difference at all :\

but it provides the basis for you to have control over your thoughts and have good days and stuff

and i've been off them for three days now

last time i went off meds the side effects were almost instantaneous

I also thought you'd been on a better mood lately. But I only have internets as a basis.

fullofmystery: i think that has more to do with the fact that i have less stressors in my life lately

more of a timing coincidence than anything else

let's keep in mind that in the last three months i have

had my trust broken by my long time best friend of 12 years

I hope you continue to be on a good mood and also watch more Fringe. I AM VERY RELEVANT TO THIS CONVERSATION

and then broke up with my boyfriend who i love very much

which i. haven't actually plurked about.

... ALSO I love you and am at work and it lags and plurk hates me. BUT I LOVE YOU

but the lead up to that (because working up to breaking up with someone you love is never easy) was causing incredible stress

and i still have nights, every week or so, where i cry uncontrollably over the loss of my best friend

but it's not as bad as it was

because it used to be just about every night.

but i think it's time more than anything that has helped with that, not meds.

fullofmystery: but thank you and i love you too <3

actually i was going to use that as an example, i felt like you handled the breakup and got through it really well, though maybe because

you didn't plurk about it at all that's fallacious

but like, it just generally seemed much more like you're able to handle stuff like that, and hanging out at nova, and hell coming to nova at

all, really rationally in a way i haven't seen from you in a while. though yeah i guess the fact that you're back from japan and

no, I didn't plurk about it, because I couldn't think of a way to plurk about it that wouldn't make me cry

but it did bleed into my mood a lot, in the weeks leading up to it.

uni hasn't started yet probably means you're in a "easy patch" whatever that means

because a part of my brain knew that we had to break up, and i didn't want to face that, and it was making me irritable and snappy.

like there's minimal obligation to do anxiety-causing stuff

yeah, right now is pretty easy.

actually today i did pretty well, i managed to do everything on my to do list!

even though that list was fairly small

i did the dishes, including the ones that needed scrubbing by hand

the stupid thing is, i didn't even make a concious decision to go off my meds, i just can't find my blood prescription.

i know it's in my room somewhere but damned if i know where

bloody* too

so i just went "oh well fuck it, they weren't helping anyway"

c-careful with your meds, definitely describe how consistently or cold turkey you have been taking pills next time you talk to a doc

kerbox: i have been taking these ones consistently for about the last three months!

the last set of meds i took had the worst godawful side-effects when i went off them cold turkey, to the point where i would be literally

crippled in bed with a fever

but these ones... nothing '-'

i totally don't know your situation, it is just worrying to see a cold turkey quit '-'a sometimes you just don't see the effects

The doctors were really confused the last time I cold turkey-ed a medication because no one (including parents) knew that I had stopped.

I didn't tell them either until well into the reevaluation meeting, and they were finally able to figure out something that would work...

which was staying off them actually.

It did worry everyone though because it was really obvious to them, even if it wasn't as obvious to me that /something/ had changed.

mostly liek, doc wants you to double -> quit instead -> everyone seems to think your mood has been better (i also have noticed)

'-'aaa... gosh i didn't realise people were actually paying attention to my moods

liek, sometimes ppl do just know when to STOP, if you are having serious instincts against the diagnosis. just take care of yourself =(

idk i tend to just assume that nobody actually reads the stupid shit i say except maybe Greenie because she has to talk to me irl

so now i am like

'-'a oh...

there has been notably less casual despair??

so thank you that is actually quite comforting to know ._.

hahahha

yes but no

less despair but i don't think that despair was ever casual

it was definitely. being caused by tangible things.

I read your plurks too and I also have noticed less despair but it's hard to say how much is just what you choose to plurk

and your current circumstances like you said

in any case I think trying to keep some sort of diary is a clever idea :|a just in case!

yeah it's true there is

a lot i don't plurk

i censor myself pretty heavily

i am just saying guys, if i didn't then the last few months of my plurk timeline would've been a lot less "RP STUFF" and more

well i didn't mean that despair is casual that is an oxymoron, i meant more that because your posting habits have shifted a bit

"hooray thoughts about suicide." but i never made those plurks because i know i would never actually do it, and i don't want to

alarm or worry anyone.

it's indicative of a better overall mood

i guess just, especially since everything that went down in january i have just been

s-so yeah '-'a just be v. careful and maybe tell your doctor that instead of doubling you quit altogether

excessively anxious about how other people perceive me

so i kind of just stopped... writing anything too in depth slowly all together

seconding the letting your doctor know.

i will :|a

anyway thanks everyone for the worry and advice ._. <3

I'M JUST HERE TO LOVE ON YOU I'm also a little worried about the quitting cold turkey

but I mean as long as you keep an eye on yourself/your moods and let people sit on you

just be careful, etc etc '^'