[1648] didn't know how to feel... He couldn't even explain how he felt. There were too many things to think about suddenly, and his mind was
left in a daze.
reached over and poked his forehead just as she was passing by while nibbling on a pastry she found.
glanced over to her, still in a daze.
tilts her head as she offered him a pastry, " I don't need to make out with you to find out what happened, ja?"
barely even took into account what she said. "What?"
shrugs as she sat on the counter of his desk and nibbled on her pastry. " I guess we're having sex tonight then. See you at my room at 7pm."
blinks and shakes his head. "Ah... nee... nee."
flicked his forehead, " At least your English is getting better, I was joking. Anyways, what's going on?"
subconsciously put his hand over his heart. "... A lot."
tilts her head, " Like what? Did you find a new girlfriend or something?"
didn't even stir. "... I'm free."
picked his cheeks lightly, " Are you sure? A maid told me you went to the Red Lantern District last night too~"
shakes his head a bit. "Nee... u don't understand..." He looked down to his desk. "I'm free."
paused before staring at him for a moment before breaking out into an uneasy smile. "...I see. You too huh?"
glances to her. "I thought you were always free...?"
nods as she finished eating. " Ja but don't take it as a bad thing." She laughed it off though slightly nervous in her tone.
nods a little, wondering why she seemed so nervous.
hopped off of the desk as she stretched. " I'm going to be in my room if you need me. Enjoy your freedom, you've earned it."
nods a little more. "U okay?"
nods as she forced a smile as she started to head to the door, " Ja, why wouldn't I be? It's something to celebrate after all." Even_
_ though her hand was clenched up in a tight fist from being reminded of something not too long ago.
nodded again as he looked back down to his desk. He figured he was still in shock from the news, and his body was just numb.
left without another word after. She had a room to trash and alcohol to drink.
didn't even know. He just stayed in the study, getting visits from the King, Queen and a lot of other officials.
did what needed to be done to vent. She was sitting on the ledge of her window after, sipping on a bottle of red wine and playing her viola.
Netherlands
was
sent off to find her a few hours later. He was starting to feel some slight pain now, but mostly hid it. He went to her room and knocked on
the door of her room.
didn't bother to answer as she was still playing her instrument. She left the door unlocked however.
knocked again before quietly walking in. He heard the music and assumed that's why she couldn't hear him. He wasn't sure who was playing but
just went to find her.
had made a mess out of the room. Plenty of things were knocked over and strewn across the ground. There were even marks from her sword.
frowns as he looked around. He started to search frantically for her, before going towards the ledge and looked at her.
stopped playing after a while as she was downing the bottle of wine and debating on throwing the empty bottle out the window or at the wall.
"Wat's wrong?" He didn't know if she was okay or nor.
looks over and just smiles after chucking the bottle right at the wall. " Celebrations I guess?"
frowns. "Alone?"
chuckles, " It's been that way for quite some time." She reached for another bottle of wine from her spot.
went to stop her. "Waarum? Ah... why?"
snatched the bottle before he could get to it. " Because I find other parties lousy and boring." It was an obvious lie.
sighs. "Come down to the hall. There's an organised party that the King is throwing."
snorted in response. " You're the main guest of honor, not me. I'm fine here."
nods. "Ja, but I can't have... another nation, here alone. Kom. Lige."
runs a hand through her hair. " I'm not even dressed for the occasion and I'll probably just get drunk there. Go on without me."
shakes his head. "Lige..."
sighs as she corrected him, " It's please." She nudged him away after. " I'll be fine, seriously."
frowned. "Please, then... I don't want to be alone." He was still young after all, and just now became his own country.
reached over and messed up his hair before getting up and putting her viola away. " ...Just this once."
made a small sound. He didn't like asking for help or anything, but being young had its downfalls...
noticed but would help him anyways. There was a small bit of her that hoped she wouldn't eventually regret this like before.
nodded and thanked her quietly before going to wait outside her door, letting her freshen up.
just changed into one of her uniforms and left her hair flowing as it was. She had ruined most of her dresses during her venting session.
didn't mind when he saw her leave the room. He walked with her quietly to the hall, feeling a little sheepish.
gave a quick smack to his back as she spoke. " Be proud and stand tall. You're a country now."
winced a bit and rubbed his head as he stood tall after. "Does it normally hurt when you become a country?"
nods slowly as she fixed up his hair, " Ja because of the growth spurt. I was too young to remember much of it though."
nods at that as he rubbed his chest. "So u don't know... how long it lasts?"
made sure he looked proper as she fixed up his clothing, " About a day or so. You'll probably be taller than me by tomorrow."
found that hard to believe, but he took a deep breath and made sure his uniform was right before walking into the hall.
followed behind after, standing to the side knowing she wouldn't be allowed to follow.
gave a bow to the royals before standing beside them. They gave a few speeches before toasting, hoping for a great future.
listened quietly but spent her time staring out the window beside her. She didn't want to be here but the fact he asked made her stay.
got a few handshakes and congratulations, but had to step down from the royals to get himself some water. He wasn't use to this kind of
pain. Even if he wasn't in any physical pain, it was enough to make him feel uncomfortable.
had a few nobles that went to her to talk but showed no interest. Instead, she was more concerned with him dealing with the pain.
talked to those that came to him, but it was getting to the point where he almost didn't want to deal with anyone. Even the maids that came
over didn't seem to leave him alone, though it was obvious he was clenching his drink tightly.
noticed as she strolled by pulling him away and causing them both to remain invisible towards humans as she brought him to an empty hallway.
made a small sound but thanked her. He cringed a bit as he sipped more water, sighing quietly.
sighs, " It hurts doesn't it?" She could tell from the signs he showed.
nods as he leaned against the wall and grabbed his uniform near his heart.
reached over and loosened his collar immediately, " Control your breathing. I'm bringing you back to your room."
frowns. "But the celebration. I should be there with the King..." He hissed quietly and accidentally dropped his glass.
growls, " If you pass out in public, the king will be worried for the state of his country. You are tied to this land now. Permanantly."
Netherlands
was
almost worried at hearing that. He nodded a bit and slowly headed off to his room, putting a hand to his head.
accompanied him and tried to bring him there as quickly as she could. " Just focus on steadying your breathing for now."
nods as he did focus on that, though so many things were going through his head now that he started to breath quicker.
sat him down on the bed as soon as they arrived. " Now, look at me." She pointed to herself to help him concentrate.
couldn't seem to, his eyes were down and kept looking from side to side. So much was going through him now, he couldn't focus easily.
cursed as she placed her hands on his cheeks, looking straight into his eyes. " You need to think straight or you'll be overwhelmed."
clenched his eyes shut and winced, grinding his teeth and shaking a bit. He had no idea he would experience this.
sighed as she pressed her forehead against his. " Holland," She stated his name quietly, " You're not alone." She touched his hand lightly.
panted quietly, but his eyes were less clenched. That seemed to help him a bit.
patted his hand lightly as she continued. " Take deep breaths and think of your favourite place, nothing else."
tried, hard. He thought of Keukenhof and the tulips. His breathing started to calm down slowly, but surely.
seemed a bit relieved about that as she leaned back to monitor his condition.
felt his heart still racing, but kept trying to focus. Once he opened his eyes again though he brought his hand slowly up to his forehead,
feeling the bandaged wound. That started to make him panic a bit again.
grabbed his hand immediately, squeezing it tightly as she pulled it away from the scar. " Nej, calm down!" She knew_
_ he was starting to have flash backs again.
tried taking deep breaths again, but mid-way he started to cough. He was so glad he wasn't in the party now.
rubbed his back lightly as she tried to calm him down before trying to get him to rest in bed. " Try to lie down and rest."
shivered a bit when she rubbed his back but slowly laid down, closing his eyes again as he put his hand over his heart and gripped the
fabric again. He felt so drained.
pulled the blankets over him after she loosened his shirt and pulled off the overcoat. " It'll be over soon."
nodded as he looked over to her. "W-will... you stay...?" He didn't think any of the humans around would understand or help him if he had
another panic attack.
smiles as she messed up his hair again while sitting on the edge of the bed, " I did agree on not leaving you alone." She loosened_
_ her cravat after to breathe properly and be able to react better if anything happened to him.
nods a little as he looked at her. "Dank u..." He soon closed his eyes and relaxed, almost instantly falling alseep.
seemed a bit surprised at that but stayed anyways. She got up after a while to get some water for him in case he woke up.
Netherlands
was
still for a while, but after that he started to grip the sheets and grit his teeth. If this wasn't for his freedom he'd never have asked for
it.
returned rather quickly and pried his hands off the sheet. She hadn't taken a good look at him...but he really had a growth spurt.
would figure that out tomorrow. For now he just tried to ignore the nightmares he was having.They were bad enough where he got a cold sweat.
had brought a towel with her and started to wipe off the sweat from him. Even she didn't get this treatment when she had to endure it.
Netherlands
was
amazed she was still here, but thankful for it. He couldn't think of anyone else who could help him at a time like this.
only decided to stay because she never broke promises and she wanted to help someone through something she never got help from.
woke up not long after, hissing and going to touch the wound again on his forehead.
reached over to stop him despite being obviously tired. " It will scar if you keep touching it."
frowns. "It stings..." His voice got a little deeper, but he hadn't noticed details like this.
nods as she tugged her sleeve to show him all the scars that covered her arm. " They always do but not as much as time passes."
looked at her arm, frowning more. "How'd you get those...?"
chuckles deciding to share a little secret with him, " The same one who betrayed me for her own freedom."
went to touch the wound again. "How'd she do it...?" He couldn't think of family doing that, or even close friends.
smiled even with a painful expression as she clenched her hand into a fist, " We got into a quarrel when she left and she tried to cut_
_ off my arms but couldn't bring herself to do it so she left these instead."
nodded a little. At least he didn't have any personal issues like that... He was starting to feel some pains again, not use to this at all.
pulled up her sleeves to cover her arms before pulling him to rest his head on her lap. " Relax and sleep. There are_
_ plenty of things for you to do tomorrow now that you are a country."
made a faint sound. "I don't know if I can sleep again..." He looked up to her a little. "What about you too...?"
placed her hand over his eyes gently, " I'll sleep once you feel better. Now rest."
frowned but closed his eyes, trying for her sake. He still couldn't seem to relax with the amount of changes in his body.
knew things will be over soon once the sun came up. Sunlight did help the process pass by faster oddly enough.
kept trying to relax, though he couldn't stop fidgeting.
just stroked his hair lightly in a motherly fashion. She couldn't recall how many times she had done this in the past.
found it very comforting, but still couldn't attempt to sleep. "... Sorry."
looks down and shook her head, " No need to apologize. I was once in your spot too."
sighs. "But you'd be getting sleep if it wasn't for me..."
chuckles faintly, " Like I'll be getting any sleep from getting upset again over someone who left me."
hesitated before lightly taking her hand. He didn't know how to comfort people, but he thought it was an attempt.
squeezed his hand lightly in return. " Back to sleep you go now."
sighs. "I doubt I can... it doesn't hurt as much, but it's still enough to distract me."
frowns but nods, " Is there anything you want to talk about then?"
"... What will it be like being a country...?"
hums for a bit, " You get a lot more responsibility and you have a lot more strength than before."
nods a little. "Does it feel restricting at all, like how before I was bound by laws...?"
shakes her head, " Human laws and laws made by other countries, nej. Nature's laws however still apply."
squeezed her hand as more pain went through him. "W-what's that like...?"
frowns, "Anything that happens to your people or land happens to you directly."
swallowed hesitantly. He was glad he didn't generally see too bad of weather around him or his area.
sighs, " It'll take a lot to kill us, but we can get injured so we're not invincible. We only exist as long as our land or people exist."
nods a little as he held onto her hand more. He was nervous about that.
smiles faintly, " If I've been around for such a long time, it wouldn't be difficult for you too."
nods, feeling a bit more reassured at that. He figured if she could do this, he'd have no problems with it...
leaned against the back of the bed as she closed her eyes. " Is there anything else you want to know?"
swallowed dryly, starting to feel his head hurt again. "How... are we in relation to humans now...?"
opened an eye, " You know that sharp pain you feel when a lot of them die or when you get sick when a lot of them get sick?"
nods a little. "J-ja..."
started to play with his hair out of boredom. " That happens too. If anything happens to the economy as well, it effects you too."
frowned. "I see..." He guessed he could handle that easily enough.
shrugs, " Aside from that, treaties are considered close to marriage. You know like Austria-Hungary, that sort of thing."
nods as he shut his eyes again, trying to ignore the pain in his head.
hummed quietly in a soft tune to help him. She did notice the sun was starting to come up as she glanced to the window.
couldn't even tell. He just felt a blinding pain run through his body, especially his arms and legs. He couldn't help but yell out, almost
hitting her as he went to grip whatever he could.
flinched but kept him in place, enduring whatever he threw at her. She knew this was the worse part.
cursed as he shook and cringed. It was hard for him to even try and keep still.
wrapped her arms around him to keep him steady as she reminded him to calm down.
tried, but the sudden pain scared him. He didn't know he could feel like this.
waited as she watched the sun rise slowly, " It'll be over soon." She repeated to him over and over again.
felt his eyes water and a few tears slip down the side of his face. He finally started to quiet down, but mostly because his voice was
strained and hurt.
noticed and wiped away the tears as she held him close in a protective fashion. She sighed in relief as the sun was up and beaming.
felt the pain slowly throb away. He still shook and kept his eyes closed. He never wanted to experience that again.
hummed softly again as she stroked his hair lightly to remind him that she was there.
opened his eyes suddenly, feeling numb now. He was just glad the pain was gone.
yawns quietly as she looked down to him, " You okay now?"
nods a little. "I can't feel anything, so I guess so..." His voice had gotten a bit deeper, and less shaky.
smiles faintly as she closed her eyes. " Good, then I'm going to nap for a bit."
nodded as he just stared at the celling, calming down a lot now. "Ja... you deserve it..." He wanted to squeeze her hand but couldn't. "Dank
u vel..."
just squeezed his hand lightly before falling asleep after muttering her reply quietly. " You're welcome."
didn't move much. He wouldn't even if he could. He started to relax a bit, and soon enough her breathing put him to sleep. He needed it.
continued to sleep until the afternoon without knowing it. It was until she felt really warm she started to wake up.
made a small sound as she started moving, in a mild state of sleep.
just felt something breathing on her skin...particularly on her chest. She was still too groggy to figure he was still there.
slowly started coming to, bringing his hand slowly to his forehead.
rubbed her eyes as she sat up, causing his head to fall right onto her lap as she muttered to herself in Danish.
mumbled quietly as he rubbed his eyes. "Nh..."
tensed a bit when she heard the sound and looked down, blushing slightly since he was very close to the edge of her skirt. "...Um."
slowly turned his head towards her, sleepily looking up. "Wat...?" His eyes had more brightness to them now, and his hair grew a bit more,
making it cover his face a bit.
blinked as she noticed but was flustered as she tried to explain to him, "...Your hand is touching my panties." She pointed out quietly.
frowned. "Oh..." He pulled his hand away, putting it on his chest instead.
pulled her self away as she tried to fix her shirt to cover her up a bit better. "...I think you should look in the mirror first."
put his hand over the wound on his forehead again. "Why....?"
smiles faintly, " You'll see..."
slowly pulled himself up, not even noticing how easily his feet hit the ground. He swayed a bit as he went to his mirror to look at himself.
Once there he just kind of... stared.
stood next to him as a height comparison. " Told you there was a growth spurt."
nods a little as he touched his hair lightly, then his face. He didn't think it would have happened so quickly.
reached over and brushed his hair out of his eyes, " You're taller than me now."
nods. "That's..." He shut up after, just now noticing his voice. "... Ah."
smiles a bit more, " It's different isn't it? Kind of like the puberty humans go through."
looked down at his fingers and arms, nodding more. "Except a lot more painful I imagine."
patted his arm lightly, " You won't feel it again. Trust me."
nods a bit, looking over as she touched him. "... Dank u, for last night..." He felt a little embarrassed from it now.
shakes her head before grabbing her coat. " It's fine. It's not like anything too major happened."
frowned a bit. "I became a country. That's pretty major."
laughs, " I meant between us. As for you being a country, you'll have a lot to do now."
blushed a little but nodded regardless. "Ja..." He went to go freshen up a bit before looking to her. "Where are you going...?"
shrugs, " Back to my room. Would you want to join me there or something?" She teased lightly.
looked away, blushing a bit. "I was just thinking... the King will be having a large celebration for first day of being in power. You're
more than welcome to come..."
chuckles a bit before flashing him a letter from her coat, " I'm afraid I won't be able to make it."
frowns. "... Nee..."
sighs, " Orders are orders. My king wants me back home soon as we are going to launch a full out war against Sweden again."
nodded a little. "Ah... I see..." He was pretty disappointed, but still got himself ready. He had to look good after all.
smiles as she helped him out. " Just be proud of what you have become and who you are." She reassured him.
nods as he fixed up his hair. "... Do you think you'll be back any time soon?"
shrugs as she styled it for him, " If I make it out alive, maybe. I like the flowers here a lot."
nods, getting an idea at that. "So you're leaving right now?"
tilts her head, " Soon, knowing how anxious my bror gets if I take too long."
nods and walked out of the room and down to the garden.
blinks and followed after him wondering where he was going.
went to find his favourite tulip and after a few moments, had it dug up and packaged. He then went to the daisies after.
seemed more preoccupied trying the remember the place seeing she knew she wouldn't be returning for a while.
picked one of the best daisies out and dug it out for her, packaging it up as well. He took the two carefully and went to give them to her.
hummed quietly as she went back to her favourite spot on the bench and sighed.
walked over and held them out towards her, keeping his gaze to the side. He had a bit of dirt on his face and uniform now, but he didn't
care.
noticed and smiled before taking out her handkerchief and cleaning him up. "Hold on for a sec."
frowns and just stood their, holding the gift.
took the tulip from his gift and pinned it on the lapel of his uniform using one of her prized pins. " It suits your eyes more."
frowns faintly. "I want you to have it though..."
smiles at that, " You can give it back to me when I return. For now I want you to take good care of them."
still insisted she took the rest of the gift. "... If you plant the bulb in good soil, it should regrow before winter comes."
accepted it after as she nodded. " Does that mean you'll be he one visiting me next time?"
shrugs. "Maybe... if it comes down to what the King wants." He didn't know if countries could leave without their King's consent.
held onto the package close and smiled more. " I'll be looking forward to it then..."
nods before turning his head to the palace again. He could hear the bell for the buffet. "... You sure you can't join?"
shakes her head, " It'll take too long for me to prepare and it's a celebration for you after all."
nods a little. He took her hand and kissed it lightly. "Farewell, then..."
blushed a bit before leaning over and placed a peck on his cheek. " Tak and take care."
nods and waited a moment before turning back to the palace. He didn't really want her to leave...
waved briefly before heading back to her room to retrieve her sword and some documents. The rest she would leave here.
hoped to see her again..
wouldn't think it would be impossible but perhaps. She would take good care of the gift he gave her however.
hoped so... his flowers meant a lot to him.