I am the corporate sheep it is me

Aaaah I should be essaying anyway

Not trying to politely engage in political debate with irate Americans

/Adjusts my pinstripe suit and shades

/Strides into a helicopter labelled "The Media"

//gentlestrokes

Don't stroke me now I'm busy entrenching the two-party system babe

Should I hurl bacon at you or something

How am I meant to show my affection for you at this time,

Be my shades-wearing glamorous pilot

Alright

I will hand out of the helicopter pensively as we whisk over the Nevada desert

Tie rippling in the breeze

And then we will chant "V for Vendetta is a viable political opinion"

//blink

And as we fly off into the sunset

I will lean over and laugh evilly with you

As we land on the Media's Helipad on top of the Two Party System building

Can't we use the oppertunity to go to an awesome Vegas restaurant?

...would you like somme context or

*SOME

NOBODY WANTS SOMME CONTEXT

........yeah we can stop in on the way

Cool.

as long as it's what the Flock's doing

As long as I get the chance to eat scallops I don't care what stuff you're up to.

You would be the bestworst fellow secret agent ;w;

THAT or a cheeseburger the size of my head.

It would be so beautiful

OH ARE WE BEING SECRET AGENTS I couldn't figure out what was going on.

But so wrong

Aaaaah context for youuu?

I thought we were just going to Vegas and being really boring.

Your wife she will liiike

ten pound

PFFFT

no

that's the nature of parody

I was like "Who goes to Vegas and looks at the desert what is wrong with you."

You do realise voting for a third party candidate is in effect ta...

Me: Sends 3 polite anon messages raising this point and asking why mun supports Gary Johnson (SO ENTHUSIASTICALLY HE'S ALL OVER MY DASH)

Mun: Replies to one of them in an entirely unconstructive manner

Because of the theme I thought this was Wasa

Me: Sends another one calmly explaining I can think for myself and it's not just Because Nobody Thought Of Third Parties that the USA has a 2 Party System

NO NO NO Wasa is lovely

Mun: radio silence

Oh okay.

So tl;dr: We're secret agents near Vegas and I get to eat scallops while you cry about politics.

No no

I am a cool secret agent I don't cry

Unless it's a single manly tear

*cry can be replaced with essay/shout/be right about/make posters for

I don't know I'm just here for the shellfish.

I LIKE BE RIGHT ABOUT LET'S HAVE THAT

Awwwh man we'd be like the "Misc" division

"Whadda we do with these guys"

"IDK chuck em in there"

"Can we finish this interrogation up there's a place running a taco eating contest and I am IN on that."

"Hi I like politics- how many- are those scallops" "mmmfffhhrrppmmmfff" "Impressive

"

"Babe for the last time this is a serious meeting-" "I EAT MACARONS WHENEVER I WANT" "Y-yes you do dear"

"You take notes, I'll - I wont read them later I wont lie."

"And so obviously the killer is-" "I'm sorry agent we'll have to stop you there what are those sexual noises coming from your comm?" "Oh, that's my partner. She. She's having dinner." "...Euphemism?" "No."

I'm going to send this as our application for Shield.

We would be amazing

"lakhglsfkhdlfhldksfhldalhelookedatme" "What what are you who what" "MARIALOOKEDATMEOHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGOD"

We would genuinely be amazing

I would have such a problem with dreamily admiring all our superiors

Yeah. That would be awkward.

And acquiring all the suits

I'd be too busy just hanging around the catering department.

YES

Befriend all the cooks

Bring all the food

Win over all the leadership

"Can't take that mission, sorry. It overruns onto buffet Wednesday."

"So Coulson high-fived me in the corridor for the cakes I baked him-" "I WAS PLAYING THE LONG GAME" "Is the long game drooling and stammering every time he talks to you" "MAYBE"

OMG BUFFET WEDNESDAY

"Basically cover it in either bacon or chocolate, he'll smile at you."

"But Loki-" "Buffet." "But new York's really in-" "Buffet!" "But the Empire State's about-" "WHAT DID I SAY AGENT" ".......buffet"

"wait cover myself in bacon and chocolate"

"is that a good plan"

"is that how this works"

"No."

".....would it work on you?"

"... No."

"You had to think about that"

"What if I just turned up and gave you chocolate and bacon would you like me then"

"We've been over the food thing." GO DO Y'ESSAY

"I know, I know..." FINE FINE FINE

I really should actually ugh

I hate this

I'll bbs

<333 Love you take care